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Answer by Dr. Laura
PhD Mental Health Nurse & Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner
Thank you so much for this question. Repeated sexual victimization, unfortunately, occurs more often than we would like to acknowledge. For example, a synthesis of revictimization studies as of 2017 found that almost half of those who experience sexual abuse as a child experience revictimization later in life. This phenomenon is not solely due to chance; rather, it's influenced by a complex interplay of factors. It's important to understand that repeated victimization is not the fault of the survivor but rather a result of various systemic and individual-level variables.
Several factors contribute to the occurrence of repeated sexual victimization. For example, past trauma, such as previous experiences of sexual assault or abuse, can increase vulnerability to further harm. Perpetrators of sexual harm often employ tactics to identify individuals who they perceive as vulnerable. These tactics may involve preying on individuals who appear isolated, have trouble setting boundaries, lack social support networks, or exhibit signs of low self-esteem. In addition, environmental factors, such as living in unsafe neighborhoods or lacking social support, also can play a role. Additionally, societal norms and attitudes that perpetuate gender inequality and minimize the seriousness of sexual violence contribute to a culture where repeated revictimization can occur.
If you have experienced repeated revictimization, we want to repeat again that it is not your fault. If you experienced sexual harm, but haven't experienced revictimization, we also want to emphasize that this does not mean more harm is coming. Every situation is unique.
To continue on your healing journey and create safeguards against revictimization, connect with trusted friends, family members, or support groups to provide the support you need to process the trauma you experienced. You may also want to practice recognizing and asserting personal boundaries to help protect against manipulation and exploitation by perpetrators. Educate yourself about healthy relationships, consent, and warning signs of abusive behavior to recognize potential red flags and take proactive steps to protect yourself. Finally, listen to your intuition and trust your gut feelings about people and situations. If something feels wrong or uncomfortable, it's okay to remove yourself from the situation and seek support.
As survivors, it shouldn't be on us to "learn how to protect ourselves." Ultimately, we must all advocate for systemic change to create a world where perpetrators do not feel emboldened to perpetuate harm in the first place. Remember, you are not defined by what has happened to you, and you deserve support, compassion, and healing as you move forward, no matter how many times you have been victimized. Thank you again for asking this. You are not alone.
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.