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Answer by Dr. Laura
PhD Mental Health Nurse & Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner
Supporting survivors of gender-based violence requires both individual awareness and collective action rooted in respect for survivor autonomy and safety. One of the most impactful strategies is becoming an informed bystander who can recognize warning signs and respond appropriately when situations arise. This means learning about the dynamics of abuse, understanding that leaving an abusive situation is often the most dangerous time for a survivor, and knowing how to offer support without judgment or pressure. When someone discloses their experience to you, believing them unconditionally and following their lead about what kind of help they want is crucial. Sometimes the most valuable support is simply listening without trying to fix or advise, while other times it might involve helping them safety plan or connecting them with professional resources like local domestic violence and sexual violence organizations or the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
Another essential strategy involves advocating for systemic change within your community and supporting organizations that serve survivors. This can include volunteering with or donating to local shelters and advocacy organizations, supporting legislation that protects survivors and holds perpetrators accountable, and challenging harmful attitudes and behaviors when you encounter them in your social circles. Many communities also benefit from citizens who educate themselves about trauma-informed approaches and work to implement these practices in their workplaces, schools, and community organizations. Remember that supporting survivors often means supporting long-term healing and empowerment rather than expecting quick solutions, and that the most effective help centers the survivor's own knowledge of what they need to be safe and heal.
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.