How can I best support my friend who was sexually assaulted on our college campus? It's especially concerning because the person who committed the assault appears to be a repeat offender. This person wants to become a doctor, and it's scary to think they might not be held accountable for their actions, similar to recent cases in the medical field. I'm devastated for my friend and don't know how to help.

Thank you for reaching out with such an important question. Your concern for your friend shows what a compassionate and thoughtful person you are. They are fortunate to have someone like you in their life.

Supporting a friend who has experienced sexual assault requires compassion, patience, and understanding. First and foremost, believe your friend unconditionally. This validation is crucial, as survivors often face doubt or minimization of their experiences from others. Let your friend know you're there for them without judgment or pressure, allowing them to share only what they feel comfortable discussing, when they're ready.

Be prepared to listen more than you speak. Avoid asking probing questions or pushing for details they may not be ready to share. Respect their autonomy by not making decisions for them, even with good intentions. Instead, present information about available resources—such as campus advocacy services, counseling centers, reporting options, and medical care—while emphasizing that all choices are theirs to make at their own pace.

Remember that trauma affects everyone differently. Some survivors may want to talk frequently about their experience, while others might need space or prefer distraction. Follow their lead and respond to their expressed needs rather than what you think they should need. Simple practical support can be invaluable—offering to accompany them to appointments, helping with daily tasks when they're struggling, or simply creating safe spaces for normal social interaction when they desire it.

Regarding your concerns about the person who committed the assault, it's natural to feel angry and worried about accountability, especially in professional fields like medicine. While these feelings are valid, focus your energy on supporting your friend rather than on the other person. Your friend's healing journey should remain the priority. If your friend decides to pursue formal reporting options, you can support that decision, but remember that each survivor must chart their own path to healing.

Take care of yourself too—supporting someone through trauma can be emotionally taxing. Seek your own support systems, whether through counseling, trusted friends (while maintaining your friend's confidentiality), or self-care practices. This will help you remain a steady, sustainable source of support for your friend over time.

Remember that healing isn't linear—there may be good days and difficult days. Your consistent presence and understanding can provide a foundation of safety as your friend navigates their recovery. By offering unconditional support without expectations, you honor their journey and help restore their sense of agency and trust, which are often deeply affected by sexual assault.

Thank you for being such a kind and thoughtful friend. We appreciate you!