Are there other straight men who experienced abuse in a romantic relationship as a young adult?

You are absolutely not alone, and it's worth saying that clearly and directly because the silence around this experience can make it feel that way. Abuse in romantic relationships happens to men, including straight men, and it is far more common than most people realize or talk about.

The CDC's National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (2016/2017) found that roughly 1 in 4 men in the U.S. experience some form of intimate partner violence in their lifetime, and notably, more than 60% of those men reported that it first happened before the age of 25. And yet the stories, resources, and public conversations about this tend to center other experiences, which means men are often left without a clear framework for what happened to them or any sense that others share it.

Research also tells us that men are significantly less likely to report abuse or seek help. This is not because the harm is lesser, but because of the added weight of social stigma, masculine norms that discourage vulnerability, and a genuine lack of systems and spaces designed with them in mind. A 2022 qualitative study on barriers to help-seeking found that men described shame, fear of not being believed, and a deep conflict between their victimization and their sense of identity as reasons they stayed silent. A separate study on masculine ideologies and intimate partner violence found that many straight men struggled to accept the role of "victim" because it felt at odds with cultural expectations of masculinity, which can make it much harder to name what happened, let alone seek support.

One of the painful realities for straight men who have been abused in romantic relationships is that this lack of visibility can create a deep sense of isolation, and can even lead to questioning whether what happened was "really" abuse. It was. Abuse does not have a gender requirement, and neither does the harm it causes. The confusion, the self-doubt, the way it lingers-- those responses make complete sense given what you went through.

What we can tell you is that many straight men have shared their stories on our story-sharing site, and reading those accounts can be a powerful reminder that you are far from alone in this. The fact that you're asking this question suggests you may be in the process of naming and understanding your experience, and that takes real courage. Many men have walked this same road quietly, which is part of why it can feel so lonely. But this community exists specifically because these experiences are real, they matter, and you deserve support just as much as anyone else who has been through something like this.