About 14 years ago, I fell asleep and woke up to my dad's son with his private parts between my legs. I never gave consent. There were also times when I fell asleep and he would put his hand on my butt. I live with him 24/7, and I feel like I can't tell anyone. I need help.

Fourteen years is a long time to carry something alone, and living under the same roof as the person who did it must be so hard.

You were asleep. A sleeping person cannot give consent, so nothing about what happened depended on anything you did or didn't do. Survivors of harm that happens during sleep often find themselves combing back through the memory, wondering if they missed a sign or should have woken sooner. None of those questions change where the responsibility sits. It sits with him.

The feeling that you can't tell anyone makes a lot of sense given where you are. When the person who caused harm is family, telling can feel like it will break something. For example, your relationship with your dad, the peace of the household, the version of the family everyone else believes in. Many survivors describe staying quiet to protect the people around them, or because they fear they won't be believed, or because they have to keep sharing a kitchen and a hallway with him no matter what happens next. Silence in a situation like yours is a survival strategy. It has kept you functioning.

Living with him around the clock also asks a lot of your body. Clinicians use the word hypervigilance to describe a nervous system that stays on alert, scanning for danger even when nothing is happening in the moment. You might notice it as trouble sleeping, tension when you hear him in the next room, or exhaustion that doesn't match how much you've actually done. None of it means you are overreacting. Your body is responding to a real history in a space where you can't fully relax.

If any of what you described is still happening, including him touching you while you sleep, your safety right now matters most. A lock on your bedroom door, keeping your phone close at night, or staying somewhere else on nights you feel uneasy are all reasonable choices, and you don't owe anyone an explanation for them. If you're ever in immediate danger, you can call 911.

You don't have to decide today whether to tell your family, and you don't have to tell anyone face to face. I noticed your message came from Mexico, so I want to share some options that are available there. Since you live with him, a good first step is one you can take quietly. The Consejo Ciudadano's Chat de Confianza is on WhatsApp at 55 5533 5533, 24 hours a day, every day. It's free, and they can offer emotional support and legal guidance by text, so no one in the house has to hear you. If you'd rather talk by phone, Mexico's national Línea de las Mujeres is free anywhere in the country. Call 079 and choose option 1. You might call when you're out of the house or know you won't be overheard. You can share exactly what you wrote here and let someone trained help you think through what comes next, at your pace.

You reached out once already by writing this. You can do it again. Thank you for trusting us with this.