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A los 9-10 años tuve dos amigas alrededor de la misma edad, que al momento de irlas a visitar a sus casas terminaban besándome por curiosidad y yo solamente me quedaba quieta esperando a que terminarán, nunca llegué a entender si fue abuso o algo por el estilo, una de ellas me decía que buscará videos pornográficos en mi celular y años después no cargo ningún peso sobre la situación, me siento neutral al respecto y quiero comprender realmente qué fue lo que me pasó. When I was 9-10 years old, I had two friends around the same age. Whenever I visited them at their homes, they would end up kissing me out of curiosity, and I would just stay still, waiting for them to finish. I never quite understood if it was abuse or something like that. One of them told me to search for pornographic videos on my phone. Years later, I don't carry any burden regarding the situation; I feel neutral about it, and I want to truly understand what happened to me.

Dr. Laura

Answer by Dr. Laura

PhD Mental Health Nurse & Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner

Gracias por esta pregunta. Lo que experimentaste con tus amigas a esa edad podría considerarse una forma de exploración o experimentación sexual, lo cual no es infrecuente entre los niños. Es importante recordar que los niños sienten curiosidad natural por sus cuerpos y pueden participar en este tipo de comportamiento sin comprender completamente las implicaciones.

El hecho de que te sientas neutral sobre la situación y no cargues ninguna carga emocional relacionada con ella sugiere que estas experiencias pueden no haber sido traumáticas para ti. Es posible que hayas procesado estos eventos de una manera que te permitió seguir adelante sin una angustia significativa. Cada persona responde e interpreta sus experiencias de manera diferente, y sentirse neutral es una respuesta válida.

Sin embargo, a medida que crezcas y adquieras nuevas perspectivas, es posible que te encuentres reevaluando lo sucedido. Si, en algún momento, comienzas a sentirte angustiada, confundida o preocupada por estos recuerdos, está perfectamente bien buscar ayuda y apoyo.

Procesar las experiencias de la infancia relacionadas con la sexualidad puede ser complejo, y no es infrecuente que las personas tengan preguntas o inquietudes que surjan más adelante en la vida. Si te encuentras en esta situación, comunicarte con un profesional de la salud mental de confianza, como un terapeuta especializado en experiencias infantiles o salud sexual, puede proporcionar un espacio seguro para explorar tus sentimientos y trabajar a través de cualquier desafío que pueda surgir.

Recuerda, tus experiencias y emociones son válidas, independientemente de cómo elijas etiquetarlas. Confía en tus instintos y prioriza tu salud mental y autocuidado. Lo que es angustiante para una persona puede no serlo para otra y eso está absolutamente bien. Gracias por confiar en nosotros con esta pregunta. No estás solo.

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Thank you for this question. What you experienced with your friends at that age could be considered a form of sexual exploration or experimentation, which is not uncommon among children. It's important to remember that children are naturally curious about their bodies and may engage in such behavior without fully understanding the implications.

The fact that you feel neutral about the situation and don't carry any emotional burden related to it suggests that these experiences may not have been traumatic for you. It's possible that you processed these events in a way that allowed you to move forward without significant distress. Everyone responds to and interprets their experiences differently, and feeling neutral is a valid response.

However, As you grow older and gain new perspectives, you might find yourself reevaluating what happened. If, at any point, you begin to feel distressed, confused, or troubled by these memories, it's perfectly okay to seek help and support.

Processing childhood experiences related to sexuality can be complex, and it's not uncommon for individuals to have questions or concerns that arise later in life. If you find yourself in this situation, reaching out to a trusted mental health professional, such as a therapist specializing in childhood experiences or sexual health, can provide a safe space to explore your feelings and work through any challenges that may surface.

Remember, your experiences and emotions are valid, regardless of how you choose to label them. Trust your instincts and prioritize your mental health and self-care. What is distressing for one person may not be distressing for another and that is absolutely okay. Thank you for trusting us with this question. You are not alone. 

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