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This is a space where survivors of trauma and abuse share their stories alongside supportive allies. These stories remind us that hope exists even in dark times. You are never alone in your experience. Healing is possible for everyone.
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Survivor story
My Dad - My Hero, My Idol, My Abuser.......
Original story
Message to a Survivor
You are not your story. Your story does not define you. Your story is simply a piece of you. The journey of healing may be dark at times but there is always hope and always help. Us survivors are all the same. Regardless of our experience we are all incredible. You never know who you are inspiring by simply getting up in the morning. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world. Keep going. And remember, that every day you open your eyes, is a day worth remembering how amazing you are.
Message of Healing
Healing is such a broad term. For some people it means going to counselling. Talking it out with one person, during a set time. For some people it means doing it internally, with some help from others. For some people it may never happen, or may not happen as quickly as you want. For me.....my healing lies in helping people who have experienced some of what I have. For me, my healing is in my hobbies - Performing, crafting, crochet, singing. The important thing with any healing (I think) is to remember that YOU are NOT your story. Your story is part of you but doesn't define who you are. Your healing will happen at a different pace to literally EVERYONE else.
As an only child, I had no one to look up to really as a kid. But I always looked up to my Dad. Even though he was never really around due to work (although Mam worked more than he did and still found lots of time to spend with me), I still idolised him. He was my hero. He would always say 'Dads know everything - remember that', so lying to my dad (even little white lies) were pointless. Though when I hit 13 I began to realise he actually DID know everything. He knew what myself and my friends would talk about, he would know exactly where I was and who I was with without even needing to ask me, and I would always wonder why. In reality he had my phone tracked and could read all my messages. Now that I have been through the court system and he has been imprisoned for the abuse he inflicted upon me, I can confirm that he was in fact grooming me from the age of 13. About a month after my 18th Birthday, began the horrific 7.5 year abuse that I suffered. My Dad, masked for the first 2 years as a stranger, blackmailed me into performing sexual acts with strange men in our home - the one place I should've felt safe. When I finally realised it was him, I couldn't tell you how it then turned into just open ended abuse and rape from him. He would advertise us as a couple on hook up sites and in order to avoid physical beatings I would go along with it. I feared for my life so much that endless rapes and sexual assaults were easier - imagine that being the easiest choice - until you're in it, you just don't know how you'll react. I stopped going out, I gave up my hobbies, whilst in college I gave up my part time job - he controlled every single part of my life. And if I even let my "everything is rosey' mask slip even for a second, especially in front of my Mam, well it just doesn't bear thinking about. Fortunately for me, once Mam did find out, he was gone out of my life within 30 mins. Unfortunately, he went on to groom and abuse others after that. He was convicted, and is currently serving his prison sentence - but the fear of him stilll remains.
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