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Survivor story
is it cocsa?
Original story
okay so i’m not sure if im overthinking things but i kinda just figured what cocsa is and it made me think back when i was younger. so when i was 8 or 9, there was this group of girls (all around my age as well) and they would kinda do weird things. the first time i saw them, it was my friends kissing in secret and i didn’t realize it was in a sexual way and i thought it was just friends being loving to each other. they saw me and they told me to be quiet and that i couldn’t tell anyone. i found it odd but i just went with it. anyway then they kinda “invited” me into the group and i found out it was about 5-6 other girls. these girls would all like kiss each other and touch each other but i never realized in what way and they would tell me that if i told anyone, they wouldn’t be my friend anymore so i didn’t. one time one of the girls pulled me in the bathroom and wanted to try something and told me to stay quiet so we wouldn’t get caught and she basically just made out with me and kinda touched me down there a little. another time one of these girls was my close friend and just us two had a sleepover and she was like “hey i wanna try something” so she laid me down on my back, crawled on top of me, and rubbed our “lady parts” together. i thought it was weird but she just kept telling me to not tell anyone so i never did. fast forward to now, im just now realizing how bad that was and that it wasn’t normal but im not sure if i should even hold them accountable considering they were also my age and might’ve just been repeating things they saw. so like i’m not sure if that should be considered cocsa
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.