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Survivor story
I don’t understand what happened
Original story
I’m so confused. A while ago, a new girl come to live in my flat, I was eleven and she was nine. We played together often and one day she said that we should play doctor, I agreed and she said she would be the doctor and I would be the patient. I lay down and she sat next to me, at first it was normal until she started going up my short and into the lining of my pants. I felt really uncomfortable and told her to stop once and she got really confused and asked me to explain, I was scared I had got it wrong so I didn’t say anything else. Things just escalated from there and I kept coming back to her house and we kept doing weird stuff that only got worse. I started to refuse and then she only got upset and ignored me, in the end I completely distanced myself from her. The whole thing has stayed with me for so long and I’ve told no one, I used to feel comfortable in my body but now I always feel dirty thinking about the things we did. I was a year older than her, does that make things my fault? I just needed to get this of my chest, I don’t understand what happened.
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.