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Survivor story
#344
Original story
Message to a Survivor
Child-on-child sexual assault is valid and I want anyone who has gone through it to know that you are a survivor.
Message of Healing
Healing means relieving myself of my shame and guilt.
When I was 8 years old I was hanging out with my younger cousin who was 7. She insisted that we play doctor and I agreed. It got more and more inappropriate and she took my pants off. She told me to take off my underwear and I agreed because she begged and begged. I remember saying I don't want to do this and reaching for my clothes but she held me down. She then started touching me down there with the doctor's tools. After I could barely sit on the couch and was in so much pain physically and emotionally. I didn't tell my parents for a whole year but they did nothing about it. I vividly remember it to this day but I really struggle with the fact of seeing her all the time. I know she doesn't recall the incident and I feel really guilty because she was just a kid and I can't blame her for it.
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.