My father has kept me trapped at home since my childhood. I cannot go out without his monitoring even though I have never done anything wrong. Now that I am at university I still cannot go anywhere without his control and I feel like I am suffocating. What should I do?

Thank you for trusting us with this. I'm really sorry you have lived under such tight control for so long, and I hear how suffocating it is to feel you have no freedom. Feeling trapped at home with no ability to go out, even now that you are in university, is not a small issue and can affect not just your emotions but your sense of who you are.

What you're experiencing is a form of controlling behavior that can have real impacts on your wellbeing, confidence, and ability to develop independence. You mentioned that you've never done anything wrong, and I want you to hear this clearly: the behaviors you're describing are a reflection of your father's choices, not a result of anything you did wrong. You did nothing to deserve being kept home or constantly monitored.

The suffocating feelings you're experiencing make complete sense. Humans have a fundamental need for self-determination and the ability to make choices about their own lives. When that need is consistently denied, it can lead to feelings of helplessness, anxiety, frustration, and even depression. Your emotional response isn't a sign of weakness. It's your internal system recognizing that something important is being taken from you. You deserve respect, care, and the chance to grow without constant oversight.

If you can, consider finding someone trustworthy to confide in. Maybe a university counselor, a mentor, or someone at a campus resource center. It might feel overwhelming to take this step, but having a safe place to talk can make a real difference. A counselor could provide emotional support and help you explore what options might be available based on your specific circumstances. They may also know of confidential ways to help you navigate your situation. In many areas, there are support organizations that help individuals dealing with controlling family members. Reaching out for guidance isn't disloyal or wrong. It can be a critical step toward feeling safer and more in control of your future.

Only you can assess what choices are realistic and safe for you right now, and your situation may have cultural or familial dimensions that make it more complex. As you navigate this, it may help to identify small ways you can cultivate a sense of agency within constraints. This could include making choices about your studies, building relationships with trusted peers, or finding meaningful activities within your allowed parameters. Building even one trusted connection can make a significant difference in how isolated you feel.

You deserve a space where you can live as the person you want to be. Whatever steps you're able to take, even small ones, are valid and important. Continue to hold onto your inner strength, and know that understanding people exist and are ready to support you. Thank you again for trusting us with this.