I've never experienced romantic or sexual attraction, but I sometimes become physically aroused (not mentally) when people show concern for me. This happens regardless of gender, though I'm unsure about frequency due to limited vulnerability with others. I feel ashamed about this response, especially when it occurs during discussions about my sexual trauma. Is this a common reaction? Could it be related to past trauma? What might cause this kind of physical response? Should I avoid situations where people comfort me because of this reaction? How can I address these feelings of shame and confusion?

Thank you for sharing this personal experience with us. We appreciate you trusting us with your story.

Firstly, it's crucial to recognize that physical arousal responses can occur independently of emotional or mental desire. This disconnect between physical and mental states is more common than many people realize, especially in those who have experienced trauma.

What you're describing could be related to a phenomenon sometimes called "arousal non-concordance." This means that your body's physical response doesn't match your mental or emotional state. It's a normal physiological reaction that can happen for various reasons, including as a response to stress or emotional intensity.

The fact that this occurs when people show concern for you might be related to the vulnerability and emotional intimacy of those moments. Physical arousal can sometimes be a body's way of responding to any kind of intense emotion or situation, not just those that are sexual in nature.

It's important to note that this reaction doesn't define your sexuality or invalidate your lack of romantic or sexual attraction. Asexuality is a valid sexual orientation, and having physical responses doesn't change that.

The shame you're feeling is understandable, but please know that you're not doing anything wrong. This isn't a reflection of your character or intentions. It's simply a bodily response that you don't have conscious control over.

Regarding your question about whether to stop letting people comfort you - comfort and support are important for healing and well-being. Instead of avoiding these situations, it might be more beneficial to work on accepting that these responses can happen and that they don't define you or the interaction.

This experience could potentially be related to past trauma, as trauma can affect how our bodies respond to various stimuli. However, it's not possible to determine this definitively without a professional assessment.

I would strongly encourage you to discuss these experiences with a therapist who specializes in trauma and sexuality. They can help you process these feelings, reduce shame, and develop coping strategies. They might also be able to provide more insight into the potential origins of this response.

Remember, your feelings are valid, and you deserve support and understanding as you navigate this. There's no need to feel ashamed of your body's involuntary responses. Focus on your emotional well-being and don't let this physical reaction prevent you from seeking comfort and support when you need it. Thank you for asking this question. You are not alone.