Is it normal to have confusion about intimate childhood experiences with a cousin who was two years older?

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your question. It's completely understandable to have questions about childhood experiences, especially as you reflect on them later in life. Exploring curiosity about bodies and sexuality is a natural part of growing up, and it's not uncommon for children close in age to engage in some form of exploration with peers or relatives.

When children engage in activities like touching each other, several factors are important to consider, such as age, understanding, consent, and whether any coercion was involved. In situations where children are close in age, like you and your cousin who was two years older, and if the interactions were consensual and without pressure or manipulation, it is often viewed as a part of normal childhood development.

However, it's also important to recognize that family dynamics and cultural or familial beliefs can add layers of complexity to these experiences. Feelings about such events can vary greatly from person to person. Some may look back without significant concern, while others might feel confusion or discomfort when reflecting on the past.

If thinking about this experience brings up any troubling feelings or if you're unsure about how it has affected you, it might be helpful to talk to someone you trust or a mental health professional who can provide support. They can offer a safe space to explore your thoughts and feelings more deeply.

Remember, you're not alone in wondering about past experiences, and reaching out shows a willingness to understand yourself better. Be kind to yourself as you navigate these reflections.