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Answer by Dr. Laura
PhD Mental Health Nurse & Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner
This is an important and nuanced question. Understanding the distinctions between different types of sexual behavior involving minors is crucial for providing appropriate support and intervention.
Child-on-child sexual abuse (COCSA) typically refers to situations where a child engages another child in sexual behavior that exceeds the normal boundaries of childhood sexual exploration. In these cases, the initiating child often lacks full understanding of the implications of their actions and may be acting out behaviors they've experienced or witnessed. Both children in COCSA situations are generally considered victims, as the initiating child may also be dealing with their own trauma or lack of proper education about boundaries.
It's important to distinguish COCSA from normal sexual exploration between children. Sexual exploration is a natural part of child development and typically involves children of similar ages engaging in mutual, curiosity-driven behavior.
Key differences include:
1. Age and developmental stage: Sexual exploration usually involves children of similar ages, while COCSA often involves a significant age or developmental gap.
2. Power dynamics: Exploration is mutual and equal, while COCSA involves an imbalance of power or coercion.
3. Emotional response: Exploration is typically lighthearted and spontaneous, while COCSA may involve secrecy, shame, or distress.
4. Frequency and escalation: Exploration is generally isolated or infrequent, while COCSA may be repeated or escalate over time.
On the other end of the spectrum, assaults committed by young people deliberately seeking power over their victims align more closely with adult patterns of sexual offending. These situations involve a clear intent to harm, dominate, or exploit the victim. While the perpetrator's young age is a factor to consider in intervention and treatment, their actions are more clearly abusive and driven by a desire for control rather than misunderstanding or curiosity.
To summarize, the key differences often lie in the intent, the level of understanding of the harmful nature of the act, the presence of grooming behaviors, and the power dynamics involved. Factors such as the age difference between the children, the presence of threats or coercion, and whether the behavior is repeated or escalating can help distinguish between COCSA, normal exploration, and more deliberate assaults.
It's important to note that these situations exist on a spectrum, and professional assessment is often necessary to fully understand the context and provide appropriate intervention. In all cases, the priority should be on protecting children, stopping harmful behavior, and providing appropriate support and education to all involved.
This is a complex issue, and continued research and discussion are vital for developing effective prevention and intervention strategies. If you're interested in supporting victims or educating others, consider connecting with organizations that specialize in child protection and sexual violence prevention for the most up-to-date information and best practices. Thank you so much for asking this important question.
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.