I recently learned about COCSA (child-on-child sexual abuse) and have questions about my own experiences. When I was 5 or 6, a boy who had a crush on me exposed himself to me in an empty classroom. I was confused and scared, told a teacher immediately, and he was disciplined. This didn't happen again, but the memory has stayed with me. Later, around age 9, classmates would talk to me about sexual topics because I was uninformed, which led me to search online and eventually develop problematic internet use patterns starting at age 13. I'm wondering if these experiences classify as COCSA, since there was no physical contact and the first incident was isolated. I don't want to inappropriately claim an experience that doesn't belong to me, but I'm trying to understand these childhood memories better.

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your experiences with us. It's completely understandable that you're feeling uncertain about how to interpret these memories.

When you were 5 or 6 years old, the incident where the boy exposed himself to you was likely confusing and unsettling. Children at that age are still learning about boundaries and appropriate behavior, and such experiences can leave a lasting impression, even if they don't seem to have had a significant impact on your day-to-day life. Your instincts as a young child were protective - you felt confused and scared, and you took action by telling an adult. The fact that this memory has stayed with you suggests it had some impact, which is completely valid.

When discussing childhood sexual experiences, it's important to understand that there's a wide spectrum of encounters that can affect children. While terminology like COCSA (Child-on-Child Sexual Abuse) exists to help professionals categorize certain behaviors, what matters most is how you personally experience and process these memories. The incident you described involved a boundary violation that caused you distress, and that's what's important to acknowledge - not necessarily the label we give it.

Your later experiences at age 9 with peers exposing you to sexual content before you were ready represent another boundary crossing. Children often aren't equipped to process sexual information at that age, and this exposure can create a natural curiosity that sometimes leads to seeking more information from available sources, including online content. The potential connection you've identified between these early experiences and later internet use shows thoughtful self-reflection and awareness.

Each person's response to childhood experiences is unique and deeply personal. There's no "right way" to feel about what happened, and your experiences and reactions are completely valid. Acknowledging your own experiences doesn't diminish anyone else's - in fact, it creates more space for understanding the many ways childhood sexual experiences can affect people.

Above all, please approach yourself with gentleness and compassion. Your body and mind responded in protective ways to confusing situations when you were very young. By reflecting on these experiences now, you're showing care for yourself and your wellbeing. You're not alone in having these kinds of childhood memories, and support is available whenever you might need it. Thank you for trusting us with your story.