Do you think what happened to me was abuse if I gave my consent and it was with someone my own age? To this day, I regret that experience.

Thank you for reaching out and sharing something so personal. What you're describing sounds incredibly confusing and painful to carry. At such a young age, children are not capable of giving informed consent, as they don't yet have the developmental capacity, maturity, or understanding needed to truly consent to sexual activities, even with peers their own age. This isn't about intelligence or maturity -- it's simply how our brains and understanding of the world develop over time. Any experiences involving children at that age should be viewed through the lens of child development.

Children naturally explore and are curious about their bodies and others' as a normal part of growing up, which is completely normal. However, when sexual contact occurs between very young children, it often happens without a full understanding of what's taking place or its potential impact. It's important to recognize that feelings of regret or confusion about such experiences are valid. The fact that you've carried regret about this experience for so long suggests it has affected you in meaningful ways, regardless of the specific circumstances or labels we might use.

Your feelings about this experience matter more than any particular terminology. If this memory brings you distress, shame, or confusion, those responses are telling you something important about how it impacted you. Many survivors struggle with questions about consent, especially when the experience involved peers or when they remember not resisting or even participating. These complex feelings are incredibly common and don't diminish the validity of your experience or your right to heal from it.

If this is something that's causing you distress, it might be helpful to talk to a trusted professional or trauma-informed therapist who can provide support and guidance and help you process these memories and feelings in a safe space. You deserve support in working through the impact this has had on your life, and there are professionals who specialize in helping people navigate these exact kinds of complex childhood experiences. Remember that you were very young, and it's not your fault. You deserve kindness and understanding as you process these feelings. Your healing and wellbeing matter, and seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness. Thank you for reaching out to us.