---
title: 幼いころから私を育ててきた祖母のパートナーは、大人になって酔っ払っている私を性的暴行しました。夫はその暴行を目撃し、... ~ Our Wave コミュニティ
description: わあ。これは本当に厳しい状況ですね。私たちと共有してくれてありがとう。...
url: https://community.ourwave.org/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178.md
---

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\[Image: Panama\]Panama

[\[Image: United States\]United States](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=us)[\[Image: Argentina\]Argentina](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=ar)[\[Image: Australia\]Australia](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=au)[\[Image: Bolivia\]Bolivia](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=bo)[\[Image: Canada\]Canada](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=ca)[\[Image: Chile\]Chile](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=cl)[\[Image: Colombia\]Colombia](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=co)[\[Image: Costa Rica\]Costa Rica](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=cr)[\[Image: Cuba\]Cuba](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=cu)[\[Image: Dominican Republic\]Dominican Republic](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=do)[\[Image: Ecuador\]Ecuador](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=ec)[\[Image: El Salvador\]El Salvador](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=sv)[\[Image: Equatorial Guinea\]Equatorial Guinea](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=gq)[\[Image: Guatemala\]Guatemala](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=gt)[\[Image: Honduras\]Honduras](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=hn)[\[Image: Ireland\]Ireland](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=ie)[\[Image: Japan\]Japan](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=jp)[\[Image: Mexico\]Mexico](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=mx)[\[Image: Nicaragua\]Nicaragua](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=ni)[\[Image: New Zealand\]New Zealand](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=nz)[\[Image: Paraguay\]Paraguay](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=py)[\[Image: Peru\]Peru](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=pe)[\[Image: Puerto Rico\]Puerto Rico](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=pr)[\[Image: Spain\]Spain](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=es)[\[Image: United Kingdom\]United Kingdom](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=gb)[\[Image: Uruguay\]Uruguay](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=uy)[\[Image: Venezuela\]Venezuela](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=ve)

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[English](/en/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178)[Español](/es/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178)[日本語](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178)

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🇺🇸

# 幼いころから私を育ててきた祖母のパートナーは、大人になって酔っ払っている私を性的暴行しました。夫はその暴行を目撃し、止めました。このことが私たちの結婚生活に大きなトラウマと問題を引き起こしました。今、夫は私に最後通告を突きつけています。暴行のことを祖母に話し、接触を制限しなければならない、さもないと夫は私と別れる、と。祖母は末期癌です。夫が私にこれを要求するのは公平でしょうか？家族に話す覚悟ができておらず、必要になる前に祖母を失いたくありません。また、別れることを選んでも、夫がいずれにせよ私の家族に話すのではないかと心配です。私はどうしたらいいでしょうか？

\[Image: Dr. Laura\]

**Dr. Laura**による回答

博士号精神保健看護師＆性暴力看護師認定者

トピックス:[トラウマ後の人間関係の修復](/ja/learn/topics/navigating-relationships-after-trauma)[あなたのストーリーを他の人と共有する](/ja/learn/topics/sharing-your-story-with-others)

わあ。これは本当に厳しい状況ですね。私たちと共有してくれてありがとう。

まず、ご主人があなたの健康を心配するのは理解できますが、そのようなデリケートな問題で最後通告を出すことはほとんど生産的ではなく、すでにトラウマになっている状況に不必要なプレッシャーを加える可能性があります。あなたをそのような立場に置くことは非常に不公平です。回復のプロセスはあなた自身のペースで進むべきであり、準備が整う前に強制的に打ち明けることは、あなたの精神的健康や家族関係に悪影響を及ぼす可能性があります。

これはあなたの物語であり、あなただけのものであることを忘れないことが重要です。共有するかどうかの決定は、完全にあなた自身が行うべきです。あなたの配偶者でさえ、あなたがトラウマ体験をいつ、どのように、誰に打ち明けるかを指示する権利はありません。あなたの暴行はあなたの人生の非常に個人的な部分であり、あなたには自分の物語をコントロールする絶対的な権利があります。先ほど述べたように、あなたの夫の気持ちや懸念は正当なものですが、最終的には、あなたが準備ができ、安全だと感じたときに、あなたの物語を共有するかどうかの選択はあなた自身が行う必要があります。この問題におけるあなたの自主性は最も重要であり、あなた自身の条件とタイムラインでこの決定を下す権利を主張することが重要です。

どのような決断をするか考えているときは、自分の安全と健康を優先してください。祖母の健康状態を考えると、必ずしもすぐに打ち明ける必要はありません。代わりに、性的トラウマを専門とするセラピストに専門的な助けを求めることを検討してください。セラピストは、あなたの回復の道のりについてアドバイスを提供し、複雑な家族関係やこの混乱した時期にあなたが下す決断をうまく進めるのを助けてくれます。

ご主人との率直なコミュニケーションは重要です。ご主人の最後通告に対するあなたの気持ちを伝え、無理に打ち明けることなく、あなたの安全と回復を優先する妥協点を見つけるために一緒に取り組むことをお勧めします。ご主人と話し合うときは、あなたの境界線を尊重しながら、ご主人の懸念に対処する妥協案をいくつか提案することを検討してください。

祖母に理由を明かさずに、祖母のパートナーとの接触を制限することに同意することもできます。たとえば、公共の場で祖母に会ったり、祖母のパートナーがいないときに会ったりするなどです。別の妥協案としては、トラウマとそれが関係に与える影響に対処するためのセラピーを継続または開始することを約束し、あなたが積極的に癒しに取り組んでいることを示すこともできます。また、将来、もっと準備ができたと感じたときに祖母に打ち明ける可能性のあるタイムラインを確立することもできます。これは打ち明けるという約束ではなく、このトピックを再検討するという約束です。祖母のパートナーに遭遇する可能性のある状況に備えて安全計画を立てておくと、あなたの健康状態に関する夫の懸念にも対処できます。安心できる場合は、信頼できる家族や友人に状況を打ち明けることを検討してください。そうすれば、祖母にすべてを明かさずに追加のサポートを受けることができます。これらは検討すべき提案であり、妥協案はあなたにとって正しく安全であると感じるものでなければならないことを忘れないでください。目標は、あなたの自主性を尊重する一方で、夫の懸念を認める妥協点を見つけることです。

また、このトラウマ的な出来事から生じた夫婦間の問題に対処するために、カップルカウンセリングを検討してもよいでしょう。祖母のパートナーとの接触に関して個人的な境界線を設けることは重要であり、祖母に理由を明かす必要もありません。あなたの癒しの旅は非常に個人的なものであり、夫のサポートは不可欠ですが、最終的には、準備ができたと感じたときに告白するかどうかの決定はあなた自身が下すべきであることを忘れないでください。

結局のところ、簡単な答えはありませんが、あなた自身の癒しに集中し、専門家のサポートを求め、ご主人とオープンなコミュニケーションを図ることは、前向きな一歩です。自分にとって正しいと感じられる決断を下すのに必要な時間を取ってください。ご連絡いただきありがとうございます。私たちはあなたのためにここにいます。

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Bolivia\]Bolivia](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=bo)[\[Image: Canada\]Canada](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=ca)[\[Image: Chile\]Chile](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=cl)[\[Image: Colombia\]Colombia](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=co)[\[Image: Costa Rica\]Costa Rica](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=cr)[\[Image: Cuba\]Cuba](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=cu)[\[Image: Dominican Republic\]Dominican Republic](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=do)[\[Image: Ecuador\]Ecuador](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=ec)[\[Image: El Salvador\]El Salvador](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=sv)[\[Image: Equatorial Guinea\]Equatorial Guinea](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=gq)[\[Image: Guatemala\]Guatemala](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=gt)[\[Image: Honduras\]Honduras](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=hn)[\[Image: Ireland\]Ireland](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=ie)[\[Image: Japan\]Japan](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=jp)[\[Image: Mexico\]Mexico](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=mx)[\[Image: Nicaragua\]Nicaragua](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=ni)[\[Image: New Zealand\]New Zealand](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=nz)[\[Image: Paraguay\]Paraguay](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=py)[\[Image: Peru\]Peru](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=pe)[\[Image: Puerto Rico\]Puerto Rico](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=pr)[\[Image: Spain\]Spain](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=es)[\[Image: United Kingdom\]United Kingdom](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=gb)[\[Image: Uruguay\]Uruguay](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=uy)[\[Image: Venezuela\]Venezuela](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178?country=ve)

日本語

[English](/en/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178)[Español](/es/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178)[日本語](/ja/answer/my-grandmothers-partner-groomed-me-from-a-young-age-sexually-assaulted-me-while-i-was-drunk-as-an-adult-my-husband-witnessed-and-stopped-the-assault-this-has-caused-significant-trauma-and-issues-in-our-marriage-now-my-husband-is-giving-me-an-ultimatum-i-must-tell-my-grandmother-about-the-assault-and-limit-contact-with-her-or-he-will-leave-me-my-grandmother-is-terminally-ill-with-cancer-is-it-fair-for-my-husband-to-demand-this-of-me-im-not-ready-to-tell-my-family-and-i-dont-want-to-lose-my-grandmother-before-i-have-to-im-also-afraid-that-if-i-choose-to-leave-instead-hell-tell-my-family-anyway-what-should-i-do-178)

緊急の支援が必要な方は、{{resource}} をご訪問ください。

ノースカロライナ州ローリーで を込めて制作されました。

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詳細は私たちの[コミュニティガイドライン](https://www.ourwave.org/ja/community-guidelines)、[個人情報保護方針](https://www.ourwave.org/ja/privacy)、および[利用規約](https://www.ourwave.org/ja/terms)をお読みください。

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[

#### 支援情報はこちら

](/ja/resources)

### メッセージを投稿

コミュニティにサポートメッセージをシェアしましょう

続ける

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投稿

Our Wave を安心して使える場に保つため、[コミュニティ・ガイドライン](https://www.ourwave.org/ja/community-guidelines)の遵守にご協力ください。すべてのメッセージは投稿前に確認され、個人が特定される情報は削除されます。

### 質問する

サバイバーシップやサバイバー支援について質問する。

続ける

ご質問への回答が準備でき次第、メールをお送りするとともに、役立つ支援情報やサポートをお送りします。

提出

### どのような問題がありますか？

このコンテンツを報告する理由を教えてください。モデレーションチームが速やかに確認いたします。

暴力、憎悪、搾取

脅迫、憎悪に満ちた言葉、性的強要

いじめ、または望まない接触

ハラスメント、脅迫、執拗な迷惑メッセージ

詐欺、詐称、なりすまし

虚偽の要求、または別人を名乗ること

偽の情報

誤解を招く主張や意図的な情報操作

提出

### フィードバックをシェアする

うまくいっている事（うまくいっていっていない事）を私たちに教えてください。そうしていただければ私たちが改善することができます。

提出

### ログイン

Our Waveに投稿した際に使用したメールアドレスを入力してください。 あなたのプロフィールにアクセスできるマジックリンクをお送りします。

リンクを送る

接地活動

座り心地の良い場所を見つけてください。目を軽く閉じて、深呼吸を数回します。鼻から息を吸い（3つ数え）、口から息を吐きます（3つ数え）。さあ、目を開けて周りを見回してください。以下のことを声に出して言ってみてください。

見えるもの5つ（部屋の中と窓の外を見ることができます）

感じるもの4つ（目の前にあるもので触れるものは何ですか？）

聞こえるもの3つ

匂いを嗅ぐもの2つ

自分の好きなところ1つ。

最後に深呼吸をしましょう。

座っている場所から、周囲を見回して、質感のあるもの、見ていて楽しいもの、興味深いものを探してください。

何かを手に持ち、その物に全神経を集中してください。影が落ちている部分や、物の中に形が浮かび上がっている部分に注目してください。手に持った時の重さや軽さ、指の裏側の表面の質感を感じてみてください（ペットを飼っている場合は、ペットと一緒に行うこともできます）。

最後に深呼吸をしましょう。

以下の質問を自分に問いかけ、声に出して答えましょう。

1\. 私はどこにいますか？

2\. 今日は何曜日ですか？

3\. 今日の日付は何ですか？

4\. 今は何月ですか？

5\. 今は何年ですか？

6\. 私は何歳ですか？

7\. 今はどんな季節ですか？

最後に深呼吸をしましょう。

右手の手のひらを下にして左肩に置きます。左手の手のひらを下にして右肩に置きます。自分を強くしてくれるような言葉を選びましょう。例えば、「私は力強い」などです。まず文章を声に出して読み、右手で左肩を軽く叩き、次に左手で右肩を軽く叩きます。

交互に叩きます。左右5回ずつ、合計10回叩き、そのたびに文章を声に出して繰り返します。

最後に深呼吸をします。

腕を体の前で交差させ、胸に引き寄せます。右手で左上腕を、左手で右上腕を押さえます。優しく握り、腕を内側に引きます。しばらく握りしめた状態を保ち、その瞬間の自分にとって適切な握り加減を見つけます。力を入れたら力を抜きます。そして再びしばらく握りしめ、力を抜きます。しばらくそのままの状態を保ちます。

最後に深呼吸をします。

別のグラウンディング活動を試してみましょう

私は地に足がついていて準備ができていると感じている