あなたにこのようなことが起こったことをとても残念に思います。自分を責めないでください。あなたに起こったことはあなたのせいではありません。
あなたの経験をどのように定義するかはあなただけが決めることができますが、あなたが述べたこと、つまり、圧力、あなたの快適さを無視すること、あなたが明らかにかわそう... url: https://community.ourwave.org/ja/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347.md --- {{customAnalyticsScripts}} [\[Image: Our Wave ロゴ\]\[Image: Our Wave ロゴ\]](/ja/) [ コミュニティ ](/ja/)[ 質問と回答 ](/ja/learn)[ サポートを探す ](/ja/resources) ストーリーをシェア メッセージを投稿 0 ユーザー 0 ビュー 0 リアクション 0 ストーリーを読む ##### 休憩しますか？ グラウンディング（心と身体を癒す）アクティビティを試す 緊急の支援が必要な方は、{{resource}} をご訪問ください。 支援情報を表示する \[Image: United States\]United States [\[Image: Argentina\]Argentina](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=ar)[\[Image: Australia\]Australia](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=au)[\[Image: Bolivia\]Bolivia](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=bo)[\[Image: Canada\]Canada](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=ca)[\[Image: Chile\]Chile](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=cl)[\[Image: Colombia\]Colombia](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=co)[\[Image: Costa Rica\]Costa Rica](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=cr)[\[Image: Cuba\]Cuba](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=cu)[\[Image: Dominican Republic\]Dominican Republic](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=do)[\[Image: Ecuador\]Ecuador](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=ec)[\[Image: El Salvador\]El Salvador](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=sv)[\[Image: Equatorial Guinea\]Equatorial Guinea](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=gq)[\[Image: Guatemala\]Guatemala](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=gt)[\[Image: Honduras\]Honduras](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=hn)[\[Image: Ireland\]Ireland](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=ie)[\[Image: Japan\]Japan](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=jp)[\[Image: Mexico\]Mexico](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=mx)[\[Image: Nicaragua\]Nicaragua](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=ni)[\[Image: New Zealand\]New Zealand](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=nz)[\[Image: Panama\]Panama](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=pa)[\[Image: Paraguay\]Paraguay](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=py)[\[Image: Peru\]Peru](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=pe)[\[Image: Puerto Rico\]Puerto Rico](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=pr)[\[Image: Spain\]Spain](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=es)[\[Image: United Kingdom\]United Kingdom](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=gb)[\[Image: Uruguay\]Uruguay](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=uy)[\[Image: Venezuela\]Venezuela](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=ve) 日本語 [English](/en/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347)[Español](/es/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347)[日本語](/ja/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347) [ 私たちについて ](https://www.ourwave.org/ja/who-we-are) ノースカロライナ州ローリーで を込めて制作されました。 詳細は私たちの[コミュニティガイドライン](https://www.ourwave.org/ja/community-guidelines)、[個人情報保護方針](https://www.ourwave.org/ja/privacy)、および[利用規約](https://www.ourwave.org/ja/terms)をお読みください。 フィードバックはありますか？ぜひお送りください 🇺🇸 # 私は最初の交際で経験したことを整理し、起こったことが性的暴行だったのかどうか理解しようとしています。私は18歳で遠距離恋愛中でした。当時の彼氏が訪ねてきたとき、彼は私の同意なしに不適切な接触を始めました。私ははっきりと「ノー」や「やめて」とは言いませんでしたが、「両親に見られてる」などの言い訳でかわそうとしました。 彼は私に最初のキスをするようにプレッシャーをかけ、その後も何度も許可なく性的接触を始めました。私がまだ準備ができていないと言うと、彼はそれを続けるか、別の種類の接触に切り替えましたが、それでも許可はありませんでした。無害なキスだと思っていたときに、彼は突然身体的にエスカレートしました。私が不快感を示すと、彼は私の懸念を大げさだと一蹴して続けました。私はキスには同意しましたが、他の接触には決して同意しませんでした。 私は性的行為に参加するようプレッシャーを感じていました。そうすれば彼が私と一緒にいてくれると思ったからです。しかし、彼は8月に私と別れ、すぐに他の誰かに移りました。彼は私の初めての経験、つまり初めてのキス、デート、交際をすべて、性的満足のために変えてしまいました。私は罪悪感に苦しみ、もっとはっきり話すべきだったと感じています。このトラウマをどう処理して自分を責めるのをやめたらいいのでしょうか? \[Image: Dr. Laura\] **Dr. Laura**による回答 博士号精神保健看護師＆性暴力看護師認定者 トピックス:[特定の種類のトラウマや危害を理解する](/ja/learn?tags=understanding-specific-types-of-trauma-and-harm) あなたにこのようなことが起こったことをとても残念に思います。自分を責めないでください。あなたに起こったことはあなたのせいではありません。 あなたの経験をどのように定義するかはあなただけが決めることができますが、あなたが述べたこと、つまり、圧力、あなたの快適さを無視すること、あなたが明らかにかわそうとしているにもかかわらず望まない接触は、性的強制や暴行と多くの共通点があります。「ノー」がないことは同意と同じではありません。[同意は](https://community.ourwave.org/_external/link?url=https%3A%2F%2Frainn.org%2Farticles%2Fwhat-is-consent&resourceId=non_specific&localeId=en&countryId=us&src=answer&questionId=65b0b302-edca-4b36-995c-646c323bba2b&sig=9f587a3402a727e809dcf354bb72827d3de2b67d1904d9e17cf9a4d18d81ae97)積極的かつ熱意を持って与えられなければなりません。明確な「ノー」がないのではなく、明確な「イエス」であるべきです。あなたの不快感は明らかで、彼はあなたの境界線や合図を繰り返し無視しました。 多くの生存者は、もっと強く反撃しなかったことや「ノー」と言わなかったことを責めますが、私たちの体は脅威的な状況にさまざまな方法で反応します。時には固まってしまい、時には衝突を最小限に抑えようとし、時には間接的なシグナルで状況を管理しようとします。これらはすべて正常な生存反応です。「両親に見られるかもしれない」や「後で」などの発言で不快感を伝えようとしたことは、あなたの限界を表現する有効な方法でしたが、彼はそのシグナルを無視することを選んだのです。 望まない接触を我慢して彼を「つなぎとめよう」とするあなたの試みも、特に境界線や健全な関係の力学についてまだ学んでいる最初の関係においてはよくある経験です。しかし、あなたを本当に大切に思っている人は、あなたの愛情をあなたの境界線を越えるための手段として使うことは決してありません。 これらが恋愛や親密さに関する初めての経験だったことは、特に辛いことです。これらの初めての経験があなたから奪われたからといって、あなたの価値や、将来の健全で合意に基づく関係を築く能力が減るわけではないことを知っておいてください。起こったことはあなたのせいではありません。あなたは、自分の境界を尊重すべき人によって繰り返し侵害された人なのです。 治癒のプロセスを進めるには、性的トラウマを専門とするカウンセラーに相談することを強くお勧めします。カウンセラーは、これらの経験を処理し、将来の関係において境界線を確立し維持するためのツールを開発するのに役立ちます。治癒は直線的ではなく、トラウマの処理にタイムラインはないことを忘れないでください。これを乗り越えるには、サポートとケアを受ける必要があります。治癒への道は人それぞれです。私たちにあなたの話を信頼してくださり、本当にありがとうございます。 ランダムな質問 0 賛成票 賛成票 [ 0 コメント コメント ](/ja/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347#comments) 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Donec pede justo, fringilla vel, aliquet nec, vulputate 0 ユーザー 0 ビュー 0 リアクション 0 ストーリーを読む ##### 休憩しますか？ グラウンディング（心と身体を癒す）アクティビティを試す 緊急の支援が必要な方は、{{resource}} をご訪問ください。 支援情報を表示する \[Image: United States\]United States [\[Image: Argentina\]Argentina](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=ar)[\[Image: Australia\]Australia](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=au)[\[Image: Bolivia\]Bolivia](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=bo)[\[Image: Canada\]Canada](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=ca)[\[Image: Chile\]Chile](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=cl)[\[Image: Colombia\]Colombia](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=co)[\[Image: Costa Rica\]Costa Rica](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=cr)[\[Image: Cuba\]Cuba](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=cu)[\[Image: Dominican Republic\]Dominican Republic](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=do)[\[Image: Ecuador\]Ecuador](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=ec)[\[Image: El Salvador\]El Salvador](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=sv)[\[Image: Equatorial Guinea\]Equatorial Guinea](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=gq)[\[Image: Guatemala\]Guatemala](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=gt)[\[Image: Honduras\]Honduras](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=hn)[\[Image: Ireland\]Ireland](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=ie)[\[Image: Japan\]Japan](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=jp)[\[Image: Mexico\]Mexico](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=mx)[\[Image: Nicaragua\]Nicaragua](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=ni)[\[Image: New Zealand\]New Zealand](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=nz)[\[Image: Panama\]Panama](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=pa)[\[Image: Paraguay\]Paraguay](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=py)[\[Image: Peru\]Peru](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=pe)[\[Image: Puerto Rico\]Puerto Rico](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=pr)[\[Image: Spain\]Spain](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=es)[\[Image: United Kingdom\]United Kingdom](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=gb)[\[Image: Uruguay\]Uruguay](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=uy)[\[Image: Venezuela\]Venezuela](/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347?country=ve) 日本語 [English](/en/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347)[Español](/es/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347)[日本語](/ja/answer/im-trying-to-process-experiences-from-my-first-relationship-and-understand-if-what-happened-was-sexual-assault-i-was-18-and-in-a-long-distance-relationship-when-my-then-boyfriend-visited-he-began-touching-me-inappropriately-without-my-consent-while-i-never-explicitly-said-no-or-stop-i-would-try-to-deflect-with-excuses-like-my-parents-could-see-he-pressured-me-into-my-first-kiss-and-afterward-repeatedly-initiated-sexual-touching-without-asking-when-i-expressed-i-wasnt-ready-he-would-either-continue-or-switch-to-a-different-type-of-touching-still-without-permission-during-what-i-thought-would-be-innocent-kissing-he-would-suddenly-escalate-physically-when-i-expressed-discomfort-he-would-dismiss-my-concerns-as-dramatic-and-continue-i-consented-to-making-out-but-never-to-the-other-touching-i-felt-pressured-to-participate-in-sexual-activities-because-i-thought-it-would-make-him-stay-with-me-instead-he-broke-up-with-me-in-august-and-quickly-moved-on-to-someone-else-he-took-all-my-firsts-my-first-kiss-date-and-relationship-and-made-them-about-sexual-gratification-im-struggling-with-guilt-feeling-i-should-have-spoken-up-more-clearly-how-do-i-process-this-trauma-and-stop-blaming-myself-347) 緊急の支援が必要な方は、{{resource}} をご訪問ください。 ノースカロライナ州ローリーで を込めて制作されました。 | 詳細は私たちの[コミュニティガイドライン](https://www.ourwave.org/ja/community-guidelines)、[個人情報保護方針](https://www.ourwave.org/ja/privacy)、および[利用規約](https://www.ourwave.org/ja/terms)をお読みください。 | [ #### 支援情報はこちら ](/ja/resources) ### メッセージを投稿 コミュニティにサポートメッセージをシェアしましょう 続ける あなたのメッセージが掲載され次第、メールでお知らせするとともに、役立つ支援情報やサポートをお送りします。 投稿 Our Wave を安心して使える場に保つため、[コミュニティ・ガイドライン](https://www.ourwave.org/ja/community-guidelines)の遵守にご協力ください。すべてのメッセージは投稿前に確認され、個人が特定される情報は削除されます。 ### 質問する サバイバーシップやサバイバー支援について質問する。 続ける ご質問への回答が準備でき次第、メールをお送りするとともに、役立つ支援情報やサポートをお送りします。 提出 ### どのような問題がありますか？ このコンテンツを報告する理由を教えてください。モデレーションチームが速やかに確認いたします。 暴力、憎悪、搾取 脅迫、憎悪に満ちた言葉、性的強要 いじめ、または望まない接触 ハラスメント、脅迫、執拗な迷惑メッセージ 詐欺、詐称、なりすまし 虚偽の要求、または別人を名乗ること 偽の情報 誤解を招く主張や意図的な情報操作 提出 ### フィードバックをシェアする うまくいっている事（うまくいっていっていない事）を私たちに教えてください。そうしていただければ私たちが改善することができます。 提出 ### ログイン Our Waveに投稿した際に使用したメールアドレスを入力してください。 あなたのプロフィールにアクセスできるマジックリンクをお送りします。 リンクを送る 接地活動 座り心地の良い場所を見つけてください。目を軽く閉じて、深呼吸を数回します。鼻から息を吸い（3つ数え）、口から息を吐きます（3つ数え）。さあ、目を開けて周りを見回してください。以下のことを声に出して言ってみてください。 見えるもの5つ（部屋の中と窓の外を見ることができます） 感じるもの4つ（目の前にあるもので触れるものは何ですか？） 聞こえるもの3つ 匂いを嗅ぐもの2つ 自分の好きなところ1つ。 最後に深呼吸をしましょう。 座っている場所から、周囲を見回して、質感のあるもの、見ていて楽しいもの、興味深いものを探してください。 何かを手に持ち、その物に全神経を集中してください。影が落ちている部分や、物の中に形が浮かび上がっている部分に注目してください。手に持った時の重さや軽さ、指の裏側の表面の質感を感じてみてください（ペットを飼っている場合は、ペットと一緒に行うこともできます）。 最後に深呼吸をしましょう。 以下の質問を自分に問いかけ、声に出して答えましょう。 1\. 私はどこにいますか？ 2\. 今日は何曜日ですか？ 3\. 今日の日付は何ですか？ 4\. 今は何月ですか？ 5\. 今は何年ですか？ 6\. 私は何歳ですか？ 7\. 今はどんな季節ですか？ 最後に深呼吸をしましょう。 右手の手のひらを下にして左肩に置きます。左手の手のひらを下にして右肩に置きます。自分を強くしてくれるような言葉を選びましょう。例えば、「私は力強い」などです。まず文章を声に出して読み、右手で左肩を軽く叩き、次に左手で右肩を軽く叩きます。 交互に叩きます。左右5回ずつ、合計10回叩き、そのたびに文章を声に出して繰り返します。 最後に深呼吸をします。 腕を体の前で交差させ、胸に引き寄せます。右手で左上腕を、左手で右上腕を押さえます。優しく握り、腕を内側に引きます。しばらく握りしめた状態を保ち、その瞬間の自分にとって適切な握り加減を見つけます。力を入れたら力を抜きます。そして再びしばらく握りしめ、力を抜きます。しばらくそのままの状態を保ちます。 最後に深呼吸をします。 別のグラウンディング活動を試してみましょう 私は地に足がついていて準備ができていると感じている