---
title: 元夫と性行為を強要されました。混乱し、恥ずかしく、落ち込み、そのことばかり考えています。大丈夫なときもありますが、突... ~ Our Wave コミュニティ
description: この体験をシェアしてくださって本当にありがとうございます。これらすべての感情や症状に対処するのは非常に難しいことだと思います。深呼吸してください。あなたは一人ではありません。私たちはあなたのためにここにいます。...
url: https://community.ourwave.org/ja/answer/i-was-coerced-into-having-sex-with-my-ex-husband-i-feel-confused-ashamed-depressed-and-its-all-im-thinking-about-i-have-moments-when-im-okay-and-then-it-hits-me-all-of-a-sudden-part-of-me-thinks-it-wasnt-that-bad-because-i-said-fine-in-the-end-after-saying-no-repeatedly-why-do-i-feel-like-this-i-can-hardly-breathe-108.md
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# 元夫と性行為を強要されました。混乱し、恥ずかしく、落ち込み、そのことばかり考えています。大丈夫なときもありますが、突然襲われます。何度も断った後、最後には大丈夫と言ったので、それほど悪くなかったと思う部分もあります。なぜこんな気持ちになるのでしょうか。息ができないほどです...

\[Image: Dr. Laura\]

**Dr. Laura**による回答

博士号精神保健看護師＆性暴力看護師認定者

トピックス:[感情と身体感覚を管理する](/ja/learn/topics/managing-emotions-and-how-you-feel-in-your-body)

この体験をシェアしてくださって本当にありがとうございます。これらすべての感情や症状に対処するのは非常に難しいことだと思います。深呼吸してください。あなたは一人ではありません。私たちはあなたのためにここにいます。

この質問に答える前に、呼吸に戻り、身体に戻るために試すことができる簡単なグラウンディングエクササイズを以下に示します。

1.  快適な座位を取るか、仰向けに横になってください。
2.  快適に感じる場合は、目をそっと閉じてください。
3.  まず、鼻から深く息を吸い込み、肺に空気を満たします。息を吸いながら 4 つ数え、腹部が膨らむのを感じます。
4.  息を吸い込んだ瞬間に少しの間息を止め、もう一度 4 まで数えます。
5.  口からゆっくりと息を吐き出し、4 まで数えながら空気を吐き出します。肺の空気を完全に抜くと腹部が下がるのを感じます。
6.  息を吐ききるときに少しの間停止し、再び 4 まで数えます。
7.  呼吸が体に入ってきて体から出ていく感覚に注意を集中しながら、この深くゆっくりとした呼吸のサイクルを数分間続けます。
8.  心がさまよってしまったら、判断せずにゆっくりと呼吸に集中を戻してください。
9.  深呼吸を続けると、息を吐くたびに体がリラックスする感覚に気づきます。足元の地面の支えを感じてください。
10.  準備ができたら、徐々に周囲に意識を戻し、そっと目を開けて、少し時間を取って自分の気持ちに気づきましょう。

このエクササイズは、現在の瞬間に自分を落ち着かせ、不安や圧倒感を軽減し、落ち着きとリラックス感を高めるのに役立ちます。特に、考えや感情に圧倒されていると感じるストレスや苦痛のときに、定期的に実践してください。

さて、あなたの質問に答えましょう...

強制の被害者は、混乱、恥、憂鬱など、さまざまな複雑で矛盾した感情を経験するのが一般的です。[強制には](https://community.ourwave.org/_external/link?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.healthline.com%2Fhealth%2Fsexual-coercion%23coercion-defined&resourceId=non_specific&localeId=en-US&countryId=us&src=answer&questionId=9731e0ff-21f6-46e3-a6d3-497247f5d1e7&sig=98212a8d48d28bbf500a91f580c5a33310375dcc645b02488bef919559541232)、性的行為を得るために圧力、操作、脅迫が伴い、被害者は無力感や侵害された気持ちに陥ることがあります。強制によって得られた同意は、自由に与えられた同意ではないことを認識することが重要です。最初は「いいえ」と言っていたのに、最終的には「いいよ」と言ったとしても、強制の存在は、得られた同意の有効性を損ないます。

強制の被害者は、自信を失い、自分の経験を過小評価する気持ちに悩まされることがよくあります。多くの場合、自分が経験したことは「それほどひどいことではなかった」と疑問に思います。この反応は、強制の深刻さを軽視したり、もっと強く抵抗しなかったことを被害者に責めたりする社会的なメッセージから生じている可能性があります。しかし、他人や自分自身がそれをどう受け止めるかに関係なく、強制は性的暴力の一種であり、重大な感情的および心理的影響を及ぼす可能性があることを認識することが重要です。混乱や自信喪失の感情は正当な反応であり、サポートを求めることで、これらの複雑な感情をうまく処理し、自分の経験をより明確に理解できるようになります。

トラウマは予期せず再浮上し、人生のさまざまな側面に影響を与える可能性があるため、一時的に気分が落ち込んだ後に激しい感情が押し寄せるのは普通のことです。トラウマを専門とするセラピストやカウンセラーからのサポートを求めることで、自分の感情を処理し、自分の経験を探り、対処戦略を立てるための安全な場所を得ることができます。癒しの旅を進むあなたには、サポートと承認が必要です。あなたの感情は正当なものであり、時間とサポート、そして自分自身への思いやりがあれば癒しは可能であることを忘れないでください。あなたの経験を私たちに託していただき、改めて感謝いたします。必要ならいつでもご連絡ください。

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グラウンディング（心と身体を癒す）アクティビティを試す

緊急の支援が必要な方は、{{resource}} をご訪問ください。

支援情報を表示する

\[Image: Costa Rica\]Costa Rica

[\[Image: United States\]United States](/ja/answer/i-was-coerced-into-having-sex-with-my-ex-husband-i-feel-confused-ashamed-depressed-and-its-all-im-thinking-about-i-have-moments-when-im-okay-and-then-it-hits-me-all-of-a-sudden-part-of-me-thinks-it-wasnt-that-bad-because-i-said-fine-in-the-end-after-saying-no-repeatedly-why-do-i-feel-like-this-i-can-hardly-breathe-108?country=us)[\[Image: Argentina\]Argentina](/ja/answer/i-was-coerced-into-having-sex-with-my-ex-husband-i-feel-confused-ashamed-depressed-and-its-all-im-thinking-about-i-have-moments-when-im-okay-and-then-it-hits-me-all-of-a-sudden-part-of-me-thinks-it-wasnt-that-bad-because-i-said-fine-in-the-end-after-saying-no-repeatedly-why-do-i-feel-like-this-i-can-hardly-breathe-108?country=ar)[\[Image: Australia\]Australia](/ja/answer/i-was-coerced-into-having-sex-with-my-ex-husband-i-feel-confused-ashamed-depressed-and-its-all-im-thinking-about-i-have-moments-when-im-okay-and-then-it-hits-me-all-of-a-sudden-part-of-me-thinks-it-wasnt-that-bad-because-i-said-fine-in-the-end-after-saying-no-repeatedly-why-do-i-feel-like-this-i-can-hardly-breathe-108?country=au)[\[Image: Bolivia\]Bolivia](/ja/answer/i-was-coerced-into-having-sex-with-my-ex-husband-i-feel-confused-ashamed-depressed-and-its-all-im-thinking-about-i-have-moments-when-im-okay-and-then-it-hits-me-all-of-a-sudden-part-of-me-thinks-it-wasnt-that-bad-because-i-said-fine-in-the-end-after-saying-no-repeatedly-why-do-i-feel-like-this-i-can-hardly-breathe-108?country=bo)[\[Image: Canada\]Canada](/ja/answer/i-was-coerced-into-having-sex-with-my-ex-husband-i-feel-confused-ashamed-depressed-and-its-all-im-thinking-about-i-have-moments-when-im-okay-and-then-it-hits-me-all-of-a-sudden-part-of-me-thinks-it-wasnt-that-bad-because-i-said-fine-in-the-end-after-saying-no-repeatedly-why-do-i-feel-like-this-i-can-hardly-breathe-108?country=ca)[\[Image: Chile\]Chile](/ja/answer/i-was-coerced-into-having-sex-with-my-ex-husband-i-feel-confused-ashamed-depressed-and-its-all-im-thinking-about-i-have-moments-when-im-okay-and-then-it-hits-me-all-of-a-sudden-part-of-me-thinks-it-wasnt-that-bad-because-i-said-fine-in-the-end-after-saying-no-repeatedly-why-do-i-feel-like-this-i-can-hardly-breathe-108?country=cl)[\[Image: Colombia\]Colombia](/ja/answer/i-was-coerced-into-having-sex-with-my-ex-husband-i-feel-confused-ashamed-depressed-and-its-all-im-thinking-about-i-have-moments-when-im-okay-and-then-it-hits-me-all-of-a-sudden-part-of-me-thinks-it-wasnt-that-bad-because-i-said-fine-in-the-end-after-saying-no-repeatedly-why-do-i-feel-like-this-i-can-hardly-breathe-108?country=co)[\[Image: Cuba\]Cuba](/ja/answer/i-was-coerced-into-having-sex-with-my-ex-husband-i-feel-confused-ashamed-depressed-and-its-all-im-thinking-about-i-have-moments-when-im-okay-and-then-it-hits-me-all-of-a-sudden-part-of-me-thinks-it-wasnt-that-bad-because-i-said-fine-in-the-end-after-saying-no-repeatedly-why-do-i-feel-like-this-i-can-hardly-breathe-108?country=cu)[\[Image: Dominican Republic\]Dominican Republic](/ja/answer/i-was-coerced-into-having-sex-with-my-ex-husband-i-feel-confused-ashamed-depressed-and-its-all-im-thinking-about-i-have-moments-when-im-okay-and-then-it-hits-me-all-of-a-sudden-part-of-me-thinks-it-wasnt-that-bad-because-i-said-fine-in-the-end-after-saying-no-repeatedly-why-do-i-feel-like-this-i-can-hardly-breathe-108?country=do)[\[Image: Ecuador\]Ecuador](/ja/answer/i-was-coerced-into-having-sex-with-my-ex-husband-i-feel-confused-ashamed-depressed-and-its-all-im-thinking-about-i-have-moments-when-im-okay-and-then-it-hits-me-all-of-a-sudden-part-of-me-thinks-it-wasnt-that-bad-because-i-said-fine-in-the-end-after-saying-no-repeatedly-why-do-i-feel-like-this-i-can-hardly-breathe-108?country=ec)[\[Image: El Salvador\]El Salvador](/ja/answer/i-was-coerced-into-having-sex-with-my-ex-husband-i-feel-confused-ashamed-depressed-and-its-all-im-thinking-about-i-have-moments-when-im-okay-and-then-it-hits-me-all-of-a-sudden-part-of-me-thinks-it-wasnt-that-bad-because-i-said-fine-in-the-end-after-saying-no-repeatedly-why-do-i-feel-like-this-i-can-hardly-breathe-108?country=sv)[\[Image: Equatorial Guinea\]Equatorial Guinea](/ja/answer/i-was-coerced-into-having-sex-with-my-ex-husband-i-feel-confused-ashamed-depressed-and-its-all-im-thinking-about-i-have-moments-when-im-okay-and-then-it-hits-me-all-of-a-sudden-part-of-me-thinks-it-wasnt-that-bad-because-i-said-fine-in-the-end-after-saying-no-repeatedly-why-do-i-feel-like-this-i-can-hardly-breathe-108?country=gq)[\[Image: Guatemala\]Guatemala](/ja/answer/i-was-coerced-into-having-sex-with-my-ex-husband-i-feel-confused-ashamed-depressed-and-its-all-im-thinking-about-i-have-moments-when-im-okay-and-then-it-hits-me-all-of-a-sudden-part-of-me-thinks-it-wasnt-that-bad-because-i-said-fine-in-the-end-after-saying-no-repeatedly-why-do-i-feel-like-this-i-can-hardly-breathe-108?country=gt)[\[Image: Honduras\]Honduras](/ja/answer/i-was-coerced-into-having-sex-with-my-ex-husband-i-feel-confused-ashamed-depressed-and-its-all-im-thinking-about-i-have-moments-when-im-okay-and-then-it-hits-me-all-of-a-sudden-part-of-me-thinks-it-wasnt-that-bad-because-i-said-fine-in-the-end-after-saying-no-repeatedly-why-do-i-feel-like-this-i-can-hardly-breathe-108?country=hn)[\[Image: Ireland\]Ireland](/ja/answer/i-was-coerced-into-having-sex-with-my-ex-husband-i-feel-confused-ashamed-depressed-and-its-all-im-thinking-about-i-have-moments-when-im-okay-and-then-it-hits-me-all-of-a-sudden-part-of-me-thinks-it-wasnt-that-bad-because-i-said-fine-in-the-end-after-saying-no-repeatedly-why-do-i-feel-like-this-i-can-hardly-breathe-108?country=ie)[\[Image: Japan\]Japan](/ja/answer/i-was-coerced-into-having-sex-with-my-ex-husband-i-feel-confused-ashamed-depressed-and-its-all-im-thinking-about-i-have-moments-when-im-okay-and-then-it-hits-me-all-of-a-sudden-part-of-me-thinks-it-wasnt-that-bad-because-i-said-fine-in-the-end-after-saying-no-repeatedly-why-do-i-feel-like-this-i-can-hardly-breathe-108?country=jp)[\[Image: Mexico\]Mexico](/ja/answer/i-was-coerced-into-having-sex-with-my-ex-husband-i-feel-confused-ashamed-depressed-and-its-all-im-thinking-about-i-have-moments-when-im-okay-and-then-it-hits-me-all-of-a-sudden-part-of-me-thinks-it-wasnt-that-bad-because-i-said-fine-in-the-end-after-saying-no-repeatedly-why-do-i-feel-like-this-i-can-hardly-breathe-108?country=mx)[\[Image: Nicaragua\]Nicaragua](/ja/answer/i-was-coerced-into-having-sex-with-my-ex-husband-i-feel-confused-ashamed-depressed-and-its-all-im-thinking-about-i-have-moments-when-im-okay-and-then-it-hits-me-all-of-a-sudden-part-of-me-thinks-it-wasnt-that-bad-because-i-said-fine-in-the-end-after-saying-no-repeatedly-why-do-i-feel-like-this-i-can-hardly-breathe-108?country=ni)[\[Image: New Zealand\]New Zealand](/ja/answer/i-was-coerced-into-having-sex-with-my-ex-husband-i-feel-confused-ashamed-depressed-and-its-all-im-thinking-about-i-have-moments-when-im-okay-and-then-it-hits-me-all-of-a-sudden-part-of-me-thinks-it-wasnt-that-bad-because-i-said-fine-in-the-end-after-saying-no-repeatedly-why-do-i-feel-like-this-i-can-hardly-breathe-108?country=nz)[\[Image: Panama\]Panama](/ja/answer/i-was-coerced-into-having-sex-with-my-ex-husband-i-feel-confused-ashamed-depressed-and-its-all-im-thinking-about-i-have-moments-when-im-okay-and-then-it-hits-me-all-of-a-sudden-part-of-me-thinks-it-wasnt-that-bad-because-i-said-fine-in-the-end-after-saying-no-repeatedly-why-do-i-feel-like-this-i-can-hardly-breathe-108?country=pa)[\[Image: Paraguay\]Paraguay](/ja/answer/i-was-coerced-into-having-sex-with-my-ex-husband-i-feel-confused-ashamed-depressed-and-its-all-im-thinking-about-i-have-moments-when-im-okay-and-then-it-hits-me-all-of-a-sudden-part-of-me-thinks-it-wasnt-that-bad-because-i-said-fine-in-the-end-after-saying-no-repeatedly-why-do-i-feel-like-this-i-can-hardly-breathe-108?country=py)[\[Image: Peru\]Peru](/ja/answer/i-was-coerced-into-having-sex-with-my-ex-husband-i-feel-confused-ashamed-depressed-and-its-all-im-thinking-about-i-have-moments-when-im-okay-and-then-it-hits-me-all-of-a-sudden-part-of-me-thinks-it-wasnt-that-bad-because-i-said-fine-in-the-end-after-saying-no-repeatedly-why-do-i-feel-like-this-i-can-hardly-breathe-108?country=pe)[\[Image: Puerto Rico\]Puerto Rico](/ja/answer/i-was-coerced-into-having-sex-with-my-ex-husband-i-feel-confused-ashamed-depressed-and-its-all-im-thinking-about-i-have-moments-when-im-okay-and-then-it-hits-me-all-of-a-sudden-part-of-me-thinks-it-wasnt-that-bad-because-i-said-fine-in-the-end-after-saying-no-repeatedly-why-do-i-feel-like-this-i-can-hardly-breathe-108?country=pr)[\[Image: Spain\]Spain](/ja/answer/i-was-coerced-into-having-sex-with-my-ex-husband-i-feel-confused-ashamed-depressed-and-its-all-im-thinking-about-i-have-moments-when-im-okay-and-then-it-hits-me-all-of-a-sudden-part-of-me-thinks-it-wasnt-that-bad-because-i-said-fine-in-the-end-after-saying-no-repeatedly-why-do-i-feel-like-this-i-can-hardly-breathe-108?country=es)[\[Image: United Kingdom\]United Kingdom](/ja/answer/i-was-coerced-into-having-sex-with-my-ex-husband-i-feel-confused-ashamed-depressed-and-its-all-im-thinking-about-i-have-moments-when-im-okay-and-then-it-hits-me-all-of-a-sudden-part-of-me-thinks-it-wasnt-that-bad-because-i-said-fine-in-the-end-after-saying-no-repeatedly-why-do-i-feel-like-this-i-can-hardly-breathe-108?country=gb)[\[Image: Uruguay\]Uruguay](/ja/answer/i-was-coerced-into-having-sex-with-my-ex-husband-i-feel-confused-ashamed-depressed-and-its-all-im-thinking-about-i-have-moments-when-im-okay-and-then-it-hits-me-all-of-a-sudden-part-of-me-thinks-it-wasnt-that-bad-because-i-said-fine-in-the-end-after-saying-no-repeatedly-why-do-i-feel-like-this-i-can-hardly-breathe-108?country=uy)[\[Image: Venezuela\]Venezuela](/ja/answer/i-was-coerced-into-having-sex-with-my-ex-husband-i-feel-confused-ashamed-depressed-and-its-all-im-thinking-about-i-have-moments-when-im-okay-and-then-it-hits-me-all-of-a-sudden-part-of-me-thinks-it-wasnt-that-bad-because-i-said-fine-in-the-end-after-saying-no-repeatedly-why-do-i-feel-like-this-i-can-hardly-breathe-108?country=ve)

日本語

[English](/en/answer/i-was-coerced-into-having-sex-with-my-ex-husband-i-feel-confused-ashamed-depressed-and-its-all-im-thinking-about-i-have-moments-when-im-okay-and-then-it-hits-me-all-of-a-sudden-part-of-me-thinks-it-wasnt-that-bad-because-i-said-fine-in-the-end-after-saying-no-repeatedly-why-do-i-feel-like-this-i-can-hardly-breathe-108)[Español](/es/answer/i-was-coerced-into-having-sex-with-my-ex-husband-i-feel-confused-ashamed-depressed-and-its-all-im-thinking-about-i-have-moments-when-im-okay-and-then-it-hits-me-all-of-a-sudden-part-of-me-thinks-it-wasnt-that-bad-because-i-said-fine-in-the-end-after-saying-no-repeatedly-why-do-i-feel-like-this-i-can-hardly-breathe-108)[日本語](/ja/answer/i-was-coerced-into-having-sex-with-my-ex-husband-i-feel-confused-ashamed-depressed-and-its-all-im-thinking-about-i-have-moments-when-im-okay-and-then-it-hits-me-all-of-a-sudden-part-of-me-thinks-it-wasnt-that-bad-because-i-said-fine-in-the-end-after-saying-no-repeatedly-why-do-i-feel-like-this-i-can-hardly-breathe-108)

緊急の支援が必要な方は、{{resource}} をご訪問ください。

ノースカロライナ州ローリーで を込めて制作されました。

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詳細は私たちの[コミュニティガイドライン](https://www.ourwave.org/ja/community-guidelines)、[個人情報保護方針](https://www.ourwave.org/ja/privacy)、および[利用規約](https://www.ourwave.org/ja/terms)をお読みください。

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[

#### 支援情報はこちら

](/ja/resources)

### メッセージを投稿

コミュニティにサポートメッセージをシェアしましょう

続ける

あなたのメッセージが掲載され次第、メールでお知らせするとともに、役立つ支援情報やサポートをお送りします。

投稿

Our Wave を安心して使える場に保つため、[コミュニティ・ガイドライン](https://www.ourwave.org/ja/community-guidelines)の遵守にご協力ください。すべてのメッセージは投稿前に確認され、個人が特定される情報は削除されます。

### 質問する

サバイバーシップやサバイバー支援について質問する。

続ける

ご質問への回答が準備でき次第、メールをお送りするとともに、役立つ支援情報やサポートをお送りします。

提出

### どのような問題がありますか？

このコンテンツを報告する理由を教えてください。モデレーションチームが速やかに確認いたします。

暴力、憎悪、搾取

脅迫、憎悪に満ちた言葉、性的強要

いじめ、または望まない接触

ハラスメント、脅迫、執拗な迷惑メッセージ

詐欺、詐称、なりすまし

虚偽の要求、または別人を名乗ること

偽の情報

誤解を招く主張や意図的な情報操作

提出

### フィードバックをシェアする

うまくいっている事（うまくいっていっていない事）を私たちに教えてください。そうしていただければ私たちが改善することができます。

提出

### ログイン

Our Waveに投稿した際に使用したメールアドレスを入力してください。 あなたのプロフィールにアクセスできるマジックリンクをお送りします。

リンクを送る

接地活動

座り心地の良い場所を見つけてください。目を軽く閉じて、深呼吸を数回します。鼻から息を吸い（3つ数え）、口から息を吐きます（3つ数え）。さあ、目を開けて周りを見回してください。以下のことを声に出して言ってみてください。

見えるもの5つ（部屋の中と窓の外を見ることができます）

感じるもの4つ（目の前にあるもので触れるものは何ですか？）

聞こえるもの3つ

匂いを嗅ぐもの2つ

自分の好きなところ1つ。

最後に深呼吸をしましょう。

座っている場所から、周囲を見回して、質感のあるもの、見ていて楽しいもの、興味深いものを探してください。

何かを手に持ち、その物に全神経を集中してください。影が落ちている部分や、物の中に形が浮かび上がっている部分に注目してください。手に持った時の重さや軽さ、指の裏側の表面の質感を感じてみてください（ペットを飼っている場合は、ペットと一緒に行うこともできます）。

最後に深呼吸をしましょう。

以下の質問を自分に問いかけ、声に出して答えましょう。

1\. 私はどこにいますか？

2\. 今日は何曜日ですか？

3\. 今日の日付は何ですか？

4\. 今は何月ですか？

5\. 今は何年ですか？

6\. 私は何歳ですか？

7\. 今はどんな季節ですか？

最後に深呼吸をしましょう。

右手の手のひらを下にして左肩に置きます。左手の手のひらを下にして右肩に置きます。自分を強くしてくれるような言葉を選びましょう。例えば、「私は力強い」などです。まず文章を声に出して読み、右手で左肩を軽く叩き、次に左手で右肩を軽く叩きます。

交互に叩きます。左右5回ずつ、合計10回叩き、そのたびに文章を声に出して繰り返します。

最後に深呼吸をします。

腕を体の前で交差させ、胸に引き寄せます。右手で左上腕を、左手で右上腕を押さえます。優しく握り、腕を内側に引きます。しばらく握りしめた状態を保ち、その瞬間の自分にとって適切な握り加減を見つけます。力を入れたら力を抜きます。そして再びしばらく握りしめ、力を抜きます。しばらくそのままの状態を保ちます。

最後に深呼吸をします。

別のグラウンディング活動を試してみましょう

私は地に足がついていて準備ができていると感じている