--- title: Ten years of hell ~ Our Wave Community description: I was groomed by two military guys at 15 who promised to help me get fit to join myself. I met up with one and we went for a walk to discuss it and he raped... url: https://community.ourwave.org/en/story/ten-years-of-hell-57.md --- {{customAnalyticsScripts}} [\[Image: Our Wave Logo\]\[Image: Our Wave Logo\]](/en/) [ Community ](/en/)[ Questions & Answers ](/en/learn)[ Find Support ](/en/resources) Share story Post a message 0 Users 0 Views 0 Reactions 0 Stories read ##### Need to take a break? Try a grounding activity For immediate help, visit {{resource}} Show resources for \[Image: United States\]United States [\[Image: Argentina\]Argentina](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=ar)[\[Image: Australia\]Australia](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=au)[\[Image: Bolivia\]Bolivia](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=bo)[\[Image: Canada\]Canada](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=ca)[\[Image: Chile\]Chile](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=cl)[\[Image: Colombia\]Colombia](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=co)[\[Image: Costa Rica\]Costa Rica](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=cr)[\[Image: Cuba\]Cuba](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=cu)[\[Image: Dominican Republic\]Dominican Republic](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=do)[\[Image: Ecuador\]Ecuador](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=ec)[\[Image: El Salvador\]El Salvador](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=sv)[\[Image: Equatorial Guinea\]Equatorial Guinea](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=gq)[\[Image: Guatemala\]Guatemala](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=gt)[\[Image: Honduras\]Honduras](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=hn)[\[Image: Ireland\]Ireland](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=ie)[\[Image: Japan\]Japan](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=jp)[\[Image: Mexico\]Mexico](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=mx)[\[Image: Nicaragua\]Nicaragua](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=ni)[\[Image: New Zealand\]New Zealand](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=nz)[\[Image: Panama\]Panama](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=pa)[\[Image: Paraguay\]Paraguay](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=py)[\[Image: Peru\]Peru](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=pe)[\[Image: Puerto Rico\]Puerto Rico](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=pr)[\[Image: Spain\]Spain](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=es)[\[Image: United Kingdom\]United Kingdom](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=gb)[\[Image: Uruguay\]Uruguay](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=uy)[\[Image: Venezuela\]Venezuela](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=ve) English [English](/en/story/ten-years-of-hell-57)[Español](/es/story/ten-years-of-hell-57)[日本語](/ja/story/ten-years-of-hell-57) [ About Us ](https://www.ourwave.org/en/who-we-are) Made with in Raleigh, NC Read our [Community Guidelines](https://www.ourwave.org/en/community-guidelines), [Privacy Policy](https://www.ourwave.org/en/privacy), and [Terms](https://www.ourwave.org/en/terms) Have feedback? Send it to us 🇺🇸 ##### Survivor story # Ten years of hell Original story Community note This story contains references to self-harm or suicidal thoughts. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out to a crisis helpline. ##### Message of Healing Healing means understanding you and your life will never be what it was before the event, that it’s something you learn to live with but the number of happy memories you have and continue to create will get bigger. I was groomed by two military guys at 15 who promised to help me get fit to join myself. I met up with one and we went for a walk to discuss it and he raped me in a wooded area. Afterwards he held my hand and walked back, he then text me nicely to say he wanted me to be his girlfriend when I was 16 and then he threatened me not to tell anyone. I felt lost and confused. The second military guy then noticed I was different in communicating and asked what was wrong. I told him and he asked me if I was going to do anything about it. I said no because I wasn’t sure what had happened. He then suggested I meet him to talk and when I did he raped me too, knowing I wouldn’t go to the police. For 9 months the second one made me meet him to rape me repeatedly with threats and made me send videos and photos until he was moved away. Whilst this happened the first was also threatening me to keep communication whilst on a tour in afghan. I bottled it up for ten years, I saw a few physically and emotionally abusive people until I tried to commit suicide 2019 ten years after the event. After intense therapy, a lot of work on my confidence and realising I am not defined by my rape I am here, in my dream job, with my dream guy. Just know that how low it gets, how hard it may seem, how much hope is lost, there is ALWAYS a better future ahead. Random Story [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/story/ten-years-of-hell-57#comments) - Report ### Discard message? You have a comment in progress, are you sure you want to discard it? Cancel Discard ##### Similar community content Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec quam felis, ultricies nec, pellentesque eu, pretium quis, sem. Nulla consequat massa quis enim. Donec pede justo, fringilla vel, aliquet nec, vulputate Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec quam felis, ultricies nec, pellentesque eu, pretium quis, sem. Nulla consequat massa quis enim. Donec pede justo, fringilla vel, aliquet nec, vulputate Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec quam felis, ultricies nec, pellentesque eu, pretium quis, sem. Nulla consequat massa quis enim. Donec pede justo, fringilla vel, aliquet nec, vulputate 0 Users 0 Views 0 Reactions 0 Stories read ##### Need to take a break? Try a grounding activity For immediate help, visit {{resource}} Show resources for \[Image: United States\]United States [\[Image: Argentina\]Argentina](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=ar)[\[Image: Australia\]Australia](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=au)[\[Image: Bolivia\]Bolivia](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=bo)[\[Image: Canada\]Canada](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=ca)[\[Image: Chile\]Chile](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=cl)[\[Image: Colombia\]Colombia](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=co)[\[Image: Costa Rica\]Costa Rica](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=cr)[\[Image: Cuba\]Cuba](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=cu)[\[Image: Dominican Republic\]Dominican Republic](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=do)[\[Image: Ecuador\]Ecuador](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=ec)[\[Image: El Salvador\]El Salvador](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=sv)[\[Image: Equatorial Guinea\]Equatorial Guinea](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=gq)[\[Image: Guatemala\]Guatemala](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=gt)[\[Image: Honduras\]Honduras](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=hn)[\[Image: Ireland\]Ireland](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=ie)[\[Image: Japan\]Japan](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=jp)[\[Image: Mexico\]Mexico](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=mx)[\[Image: Nicaragua\]Nicaragua](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=ni)[\[Image: New Zealand\]New Zealand](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=nz)[\[Image: Panama\]Panama](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=pa)[\[Image: Paraguay\]Paraguay](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=py)[\[Image: Peru\]Peru](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=pe)[\[Image: Puerto Rico\]Puerto Rico](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=pr)[\[Image: Spain\]Spain](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=es)[\[Image: United Kingdom\]United Kingdom](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=gb)[\[Image: Uruguay\]Uruguay](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=uy)[\[Image: Venezuela\]Venezuela](/story/ten-years-of-hell-57?country=ve) English [English](/en/story/ten-years-of-hell-57)[Español](/es/story/ten-years-of-hell-57)[日本語](/ja/story/ten-years-of-hell-57) For immediate help, visit {{resource}} Made with in Raleigh, NC | Read our [Community Guidelines](https://www.ourwave.org/en/community-guidelines), [Privacy Policy](https://www.ourwave.org/en/privacy), and [Terms](https://www.ourwave.org/en/terms) | [ #### Resources ](/en/resources) ### Post a Message Share a message of support with the community. Continue We will send you an email as soon as your message is posted, as well as send helpful resources and support. Post Please adhere to our [Community Guidelines](https://www.ourwave.org/en/community-guidelines) to help us keep Our Wave a safe space. All messages will be reviewed and identifying information removed before they are posted. ### Ask a Question Ask a question about survivorship or supporting survivors. Continue We will send you an email as soon as your question is answered, as well as send helpful resources and support. Submit ### How can we help? Tell us why you are reporting this content. Our moderation team will review your report shortly. Violence, hate, or exploitation Threats, hateful language, or sexual coercion Bullying or unwanted contact Harassment, intimidation, or persistent unwanted messages Scam, fraud, or impersonation Deceptive requests or claiming to be someone else False information Misleading claims or deliberate disinformation Submit ### Share Feedback Tell us what’s working (and what isn't) so we can keep improving. Submit ### Log in Enter the email you used to submit to Our Wave and we'll send you a magic link to access your profile. Send link Grounding activity Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud: 5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window) 4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?) 3 – things you can hear 2 – things you can smell 1 – thing you like about yourself. Take a deep breath to end. From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at. Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one). Take a deep breath to end. Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud: 1\. Where am I? 2\. What day of the week is today? 3\. What is today’s date? 4\. What is the current month? 5\. What is the current year? 6\. How old am I? 7\. What season is it? Take a deep breath to end. Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder. Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud. Take a deep breath to end. Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment. Take a deep breath to end. Try another grounding activity I feel grounded and ready