--- title: #1997 ~ Our Wave Community description: I am 25 years old, and regardless of how long it’s been, I continue to be impacted by the actions of others. I was in elementary school the first time a man... url: https://community.ourwave.org/en/story/fcaad998-0a3c-4a2c-a30c-06db76219e12-1997.md --- {{customAnalyticsScripts}} [\[Image: Our Wave Logo\]\[Image: Our Wave Logo\]](/en/) [ Community ](/en/)[ Questions & Answers ](/en/learn)[ Find Support ](/en/resources) Share story Post a message 0 Users 0 Views 0 Reactions 0 Stories read ##### Need to take a break? 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Send it to us 🇺🇸 ###### Survivor story # #1997 Original story ##### Message to a Survivor If you are reading this, and have experienced an assault or other trauma and don’t know how you’re going to make it through it… I am here to say that you will. They do not have the power over us, they took our choice in that moment but they cannot take our choices now. It is not your fault, no matter what you did or said, there is no excuse for anything they’ve done to you. We are proof that we can live, survive, thrive, despite their best efforts. You are HERE, you are alive, you will make it until tomorrow. My grandfather used to tell me “your peace is your own”. I have it tattooed on my ribs, and it serves as a daily reminder that I will never allow someone to break me I am 25 years old, and regardless of how long it’s been, I continue to be impacted by the actions of others. I was in elementary school the first time a man followed me home, he stopped and turned around when he saw my father on our front lawn. I was in the eight grade the first time a man touched me on public transportation, and was cat-called by a man who couldn’t have been less than thirty years old. I was a freshman in high school when I was groomed by a senior, he made me feel special, seen, loved… he shared private photos of me to his friends. Then a boy I had a crush on used those photos to mock me a year later. I learned to not trust men, to look over my shoulder when I walk, and to question everything they said to me. But when I was seventeen, I was with a trusted friend, we went to her boyfriend’s house and he brought a friend. I thought I was safe, I knew these people, I had known them for a long time. We were drinking, and I fell asleep on the couch while she was sleeping with her boyfriend in the same room. His friend crawled onto the couch next to me, I woke up with his hand up my shirt and completely froze. I didn’t know what to do, and the next thing I know, he’s on top of me. I shoved him off, caught back, and ran to the nearest bathroom where I locked myself inside. My friends boyfriend made me apologize to my attacker, made me say I forgive him, forced me to be around him for months after. A year later I was assaulted on my birthday. He smiled at me and wished me a happy birthday like he was giving me a gift while I sobbed and screamed for someone to help me. A year after that I flew to another country to work, and the man I was working for brought me into his office and told me he wanted to do a boudoir photoshoot with me… alone, in a hotel room. He said he’d upgrade my stay if I did it. My employer back in my home country didn’t believe me. Told me it wasn’t a big deal. I was assaulted at my workplace numerous times (I worked in a bar) and have been roofied twice. Every time I go anywhere, I can’t help but think of these moments, but I fight to remember that I survived them all. I survived and I will keep surviving no matter what happens to me. Random Story [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/story/fcaad998-0a3c-4a2c-a30c-06db76219e12-1997#comments) - Report ### Discard message? You have a comment in progress, are you sure you want to discard it? Cancel Discard ##### Similar community content Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec quam felis, ultricies nec, pellentesque eu, pretium quis, sem. Nulla consequat massa quis enim. Donec pede justo, fringilla vel, aliquet nec, vulputate Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec quam felis, ultricies nec, pellentesque eu, pretium quis, sem. Nulla consequat massa quis enim. Donec pede justo, fringilla vel, aliquet nec, vulputate Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec quam felis, ultricies nec, pellentesque eu, pretium quis, sem. Nulla consequat massa quis enim. Donec pede justo, fringilla vel, aliquet nec, vulputate 0 Users 0 Views 0 Reactions 0 Stories read ##### Need to take a break? Try a grounding activity For immediate help, visit {{resource}} Show resources for \[Image: United States\]United States [\[Image: Argentina\]Argentina](/story/fcaad998-0a3c-4a2c-a30c-06db76219e12-1997?country=ar)[\[Image: Australia\]Australia](/story/fcaad998-0a3c-4a2c-a30c-06db76219e12-1997?country=au)[\[Image: Bolivia\]Bolivia](/story/fcaad998-0a3c-4a2c-a30c-06db76219e12-1997?country=bo)[\[Image: Canada\]Canada](/story/fcaad998-0a3c-4a2c-a30c-06db76219e12-1997?country=ca)[\[Image: Chile\]Chile](/story/fcaad998-0a3c-4a2c-a30c-06db76219e12-1997?country=cl)[\[Image: Colombia\]Colombia](/story/fcaad998-0a3c-4a2c-a30c-06db76219e12-1997?country=co)[\[Image: Costa Rica\]Costa Rica](/story/fcaad998-0a3c-4a2c-a30c-06db76219e12-1997?country=cr)[\[Image: Cuba\]Cuba](/story/fcaad998-0a3c-4a2c-a30c-06db76219e12-1997?country=cu)[\[Image: Dominican Republic\]Dominican Republic](/story/fcaad998-0a3c-4a2c-a30c-06db76219e12-1997?country=do)[\[Image: Ecuador\]Ecuador](/story/fcaad998-0a3c-4a2c-a30c-06db76219e12-1997?country=ec)[\[Image: El Salvador\]El Salvador](/story/fcaad998-0a3c-4a2c-a30c-06db76219e12-1997?country=sv)[\[Image: Equatorial Guinea\]Equatorial Guinea](/story/fcaad998-0a3c-4a2c-a30c-06db76219e12-1997?country=gq)[\[Image: Guatemala\]Guatemala](/story/fcaad998-0a3c-4a2c-a30c-06db76219e12-1997?country=gt)[\[Image: Honduras\]Honduras](/story/fcaad998-0a3c-4a2c-a30c-06db76219e12-1997?country=hn)[\[Image: Ireland\]Ireland](/story/fcaad998-0a3c-4a2c-a30c-06db76219e12-1997?country=ie)[\[Image: Japan\]Japan](/story/fcaad998-0a3c-4a2c-a30c-06db76219e12-1997?country=jp)[\[Image: Mexico\]Mexico](/story/fcaad998-0a3c-4a2c-a30c-06db76219e12-1997?country=mx)[\[Image: Nicaragua\]Nicaragua](/story/fcaad998-0a3c-4a2c-a30c-06db76219e12-1997?country=ni)[\[Image: New Zealand\]New Zealand](/story/fcaad998-0a3c-4a2c-a30c-06db76219e12-1997?country=nz)[\[Image: Panama\]Panama](/story/fcaad998-0a3c-4a2c-a30c-06db76219e12-1997?country=pa)[\[Image: Paraguay\]Paraguay](/story/fcaad998-0a3c-4a2c-a30c-06db76219e12-1997?country=py)[\[Image: Peru\]Peru](/story/fcaad998-0a3c-4a2c-a30c-06db76219e12-1997?country=pe)[\[Image: Puerto Rico\]Puerto Rico](/story/fcaad998-0a3c-4a2c-a30c-06db76219e12-1997?country=pr)[\[Image: Spain\]Spain](/story/fcaad998-0a3c-4a2c-a30c-06db76219e12-1997?country=es)[\[Image: United Kingdom\]United Kingdom](/story/fcaad998-0a3c-4a2c-a30c-06db76219e12-1997?country=gb)[\[Image: Uruguay\]Uruguay](/story/fcaad998-0a3c-4a2c-a30c-06db76219e12-1997?country=uy)[\[Image: Venezuela\]Venezuela](/story/fcaad998-0a3c-4a2c-a30c-06db76219e12-1997?country=ve) English [English](/en/story/fcaad998-0a3c-4a2c-a30c-06db76219e12-1997)[Español](/es/story/fcaad998-0a3c-4a2c-a30c-06db76219e12-1997)[日本語](/ja/story/fcaad998-0a3c-4a2c-a30c-06db76219e12-1997) For immediate help, visit {{resource}} Made with in Raleigh, NC | Read our [Community Guidelines](https://www.ourwave.org/en/community-guidelines), [Privacy Policy](https://www.ourwave.org/en/privacy), and [Terms](https://www.ourwave.org/en/terms) | [ #### Resources ](/en/resources) ### Post a Message Share a message of support with the community. Continue We will send you an email as soon as your message is posted, as well as send helpful resources and support. Post Please adhere to our [Community Guidelines](https://www.ourwave.org/en/community-guidelines) to help us keep Our Wave a safe space. All messages will be reviewed and identifying information removed before they are posted. ### Ask a Question Ask a question about survivorship or supporting survivors. Continue We will send you an email as soon as your question is answered, as well as send helpful resources and support. Submit ### How can we help? Tell us why you are reporting this content. Our moderation team will review your report shortly. 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Name the following out loud: 5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window) 4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?) 3 – things you can hear 2 – things you can smell 1 – thing you like about yourself. Take a deep breath to end. From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at. Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one). Take a deep breath to end. Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud: 1\. Where am I? 2\. What day of the week is today? 3\. What is today’s date? 4\. What is the current month? 5\. What is the current year? 6\. How old am I? 7\. What season is it? Take a deep breath to end. Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder. Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud. Take a deep breath to end. Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment. Take a deep breath to end. Try another grounding activity I feel grounded and ready