--- title: Daring Greatly ~ Our Wave Community description: Daring Greatly I sit staring out into the vastness of the ocean. The waves look particularly angry today as they crash aggressively onto the rocks along the... url: https://community.ourwave.org/en/story/daring-greatly-1992.md --- {{customAnalyticsScripts}} [\[Image: Our Wave Logo\]\[Image: Our Wave Logo\]](/en/) [ Community ](/en/)[ Questions & Answers ](/en/learn)[ Find Support ](/en/resources) Share story Post a message 0 Users 0 Views 0 Reactions 0 Stories read ##### Need to take a break? Try a grounding activity For immediate help, visit {{resource}} Show resources for \[Image: United States\]United States [\[Image: Argentina\]Argentina](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=ar)[\[Image: Australia\]Australia](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=au)[\[Image: Bolivia\]Bolivia](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=bo)[\[Image: Canada\]Canada](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=ca)[\[Image: Chile\]Chile](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=cl)[\[Image: Colombia\]Colombia](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=co)[\[Image: Costa Rica\]Costa Rica](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=cr)[\[Image: Cuba\]Cuba](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=cu)[\[Image: Dominican Republic\]Dominican Republic](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=do)[\[Image: Ecuador\]Ecuador](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=ec)[\[Image: El Salvador\]El Salvador](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=sv)[\[Image: Equatorial Guinea\]Equatorial Guinea](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=gq)[\[Image: Guatemala\]Guatemala](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=gt)[\[Image: Honduras\]Honduras](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=hn)[\[Image: Ireland\]Ireland](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=ie)[\[Image: Japan\]Japan](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=jp)[\[Image: Mexico\]Mexico](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=mx)[\[Image: Nicaragua\]Nicaragua](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=ni)[\[Image: New Zealand\]New Zealand](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=nz)[\[Image: Panama\]Panama](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=pa)[\[Image: Paraguay\]Paraguay](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=py)[\[Image: Peru\]Peru](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=pe)[\[Image: Puerto Rico\]Puerto Rico](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=pr)[\[Image: Spain\]Spain](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=es)[\[Image: United Kingdom\]United Kingdom](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=gb)[\[Image: Uruguay\]Uruguay](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=uy)[\[Image: Venezuela\]Venezuela](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=ve) English [English](/en/story/daring-greatly-1992)[Español](/es/story/daring-greatly-1992)[日本語](/ja/story/daring-greatly-1992) [ About Us ](https://www.ourwave.org/en/who-we-are) Made with in Raleigh, NC Read our [Community Guidelines](https://www.ourwave.org/en/community-guidelines), [Privacy Policy](https://www.ourwave.org/en/privacy), and [Terms](https://www.ourwave.org/en/terms) Have feedback? Send it to us 🇮🇪 ###### Survivor story # Daring Greatly Original story ##### Message to a Survivor Don't lose hope - you have survived 100% of the days you never thought you would! ##### Message of Healing Healing is definitely not linear but it is possible. Healing to me is getting to the point where i feel like i am not defined by my story or by what happened to me. Daring Greatly I sit staring out into the vastness of the ocean. The waves look particularly angry today as they crash aggressively onto the rocks along the shore. Even here, on this tiny island in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, the water seems to mirror how I feel internally. On this particular day, I’m wondering if I’ll ever feel like my life hasn’t been defined by that night. The night that everything changed. My life is split into the before and the after. I’ve always felt connected to the sea. It has been my safe place. The place I go when my thoughts feel overwhelming and all consuming. That night could only be described as a tsunami-like tidal wave that changed everything. It changed me and it left me broken. Broken but not irreparably so. The ebb and flow of grief has stayed with me since that night. I have grieved the person I was and the many versions of the life I never got to lead because of that night. Because of them. Because of you. The relationships lost, the paths not taken, the doors that were left unopened as I found my footing on this new path. Even now, there are days where I feel unsure about this path I’m on. As a naturally stubborn individual, being forced onto this path goes against absolutely everything that feels normal to me. Most of the time, I feel like I live in a dual existence of sorts. Pretending to be happy around those who have no idea on the days where it feels like I’m drowning. Keeping my walls up around me like armour, so that only a select few know the extent of how that night has infiltrated every crevice of my being; how it still lives in my head every single day. If something is broken, my natural instinct is to try, in whatever way I can, to fix it. This has been no different. The very first time I learned about trauma and how it has the ability to change your brain, I wanted to know everything. Learn everything. Educate myself; in my never ending quest to fix this. To fix me. Suddenly my world made sense again. The shame I felt. The darkness. An incredible woman I have been lucky enough to work with on this journey once told me that the cure for trauma is connection. It brings the shame out into the light. That changed me in ways she’ll never fully know. It allowed me to realise this is not my fault. I am not to blame. It’s ok to let some people in. Although fear has kept that circle small, I have let them in. I have let them see me on my very worst days. I have let them see me broken and let down by the justice system. I have let them see me drowning in grief instead of pretending. I have let them see all of me. I am not perfect. I act out and self-isolate and from time to time attempt to self-destruct. I am angry. I am grieving and some days I’m really sad. But I am healing. I have survived every single day I didn’t think I would when the shame and darkness felt all consuming. I am strong. I am resilient. I am a survivor. I am eternally grateful for my circle who allows me to be my sad but strong, grieving but resilient, still slightly broken self. For those who give me the time and space to bring the trauma out into the light. Every time you allow me that grace, you help a part of me to heal a little more. This journey is the loneliest, most isolating one I have ever taken. One none of us ever choose to take yet we find ourselves here. Learning to walk on a path we didn’t choose. I have often wondered if there will ever be a day when that night is no longer something I think of every single day. There are days I still feel lost. But I have learned that healing isn’t about finding a way back to the person I was before. She doesn’t exist anymore. And maybe that’s okay. Because I am becoming someone else. Someone who can carry grief without letting it carry her. Someone who can be angry but still gentle. Someone who can be broken yet still whole. I didn’t choose this road. I never would have. But I am here. Daring Greatly. And I am going to be okay. Random Story [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/story/daring-greatly-1992#comments) - Report ### Discard message? You have a comment in progress, are you sure you want to discard it? Cancel Discard ##### Similar community content Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec quam felis, ultricies nec, pellentesque eu, pretium quis, sem. Nulla consequat massa quis enim. Donec pede justo, fringilla vel, aliquet nec, vulputate Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec quam felis, ultricies nec, pellentesque eu, pretium quis, sem. Nulla consequat massa quis enim. Donec pede justo, fringilla vel, aliquet nec, vulputate Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec quam felis, ultricies nec, pellentesque eu, pretium quis, sem. Nulla consequat massa quis enim. Donec pede justo, fringilla vel, aliquet nec, vulputate 0 Users 0 Views 0 Reactions 0 Stories read ##### Need to take a break? Try a grounding activity For immediate help, visit {{resource}} Show resources for \[Image: United States\]United States [\[Image: Argentina\]Argentina](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=ar)[\[Image: Australia\]Australia](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=au)[\[Image: Bolivia\]Bolivia](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=bo)[\[Image: Canada\]Canada](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=ca)[\[Image: Chile\]Chile](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=cl)[\[Image: Colombia\]Colombia](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=co)[\[Image: Costa Rica\]Costa Rica](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=cr)[\[Image: Cuba\]Cuba](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=cu)[\[Image: Dominican Republic\]Dominican Republic](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=do)[\[Image: Ecuador\]Ecuador](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=ec)[\[Image: El Salvador\]El Salvador](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=sv)[\[Image: Equatorial Guinea\]Equatorial Guinea](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=gq)[\[Image: Guatemala\]Guatemala](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=gt)[\[Image: Honduras\]Honduras](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=hn)[\[Image: Ireland\]Ireland](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=ie)[\[Image: Japan\]Japan](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=jp)[\[Image: Mexico\]Mexico](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=mx)[\[Image: Nicaragua\]Nicaragua](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=ni)[\[Image: New Zealand\]New Zealand](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=nz)[\[Image: Panama\]Panama](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=pa)[\[Image: Paraguay\]Paraguay](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=py)[\[Image: Peru\]Peru](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=pe)[\[Image: Puerto Rico\]Puerto Rico](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=pr)[\[Image: Spain\]Spain](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=es)[\[Image: United Kingdom\]United Kingdom](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=gb)[\[Image: Uruguay\]Uruguay](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=uy)[\[Image: Venezuela\]Venezuela](/story/daring-greatly-1992?country=ve) English [English](/en/story/daring-greatly-1992)[Español](/es/story/daring-greatly-1992)[日本語](/ja/story/daring-greatly-1992) For immediate help, visit {{resource}} Made with in Raleigh, NC | Read our [Community Guidelines](https://www.ourwave.org/en/community-guidelines), [Privacy Policy](https://www.ourwave.org/en/privacy), and [Terms](https://www.ourwave.org/en/terms) | [ #### Resources ](/en/resources) ### Post a Message Share a message of support with the community. Continue We will send you an email as soon as your message is posted, as well as send helpful resources and support. Post Please adhere to our [Community Guidelines](https://www.ourwave.org/en/community-guidelines) to help us keep Our Wave a safe space. All messages will be reviewed and identifying information removed before they are posted. ### Ask a Question Ask a question about survivorship or supporting survivors. Continue We will send you an email as soon as your question is answered, as well as send helpful resources and support. Submit ### How can we help? Tell us why you are reporting this content. Our moderation team will review your report shortly. Violence, hate, or exploitation Threats, hateful language, or sexual coercion Bullying or unwanted contact Harassment, intimidation, or persistent unwanted messages Scam, fraud, or impersonation Deceptive requests or claiming to be someone else False information Misleading claims or deliberate disinformation Submit ### Share Feedback Tell us what’s working (and what isn't) so we can keep improving. Submit ### Log in Enter the email you used to submit to Our Wave and we'll send you a magic link to access your profile. Send link Grounding activity Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud: 5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window) 4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?) 3 – things you can hear 2 – things you can smell 1 – thing you like about yourself. Take a deep breath to end. From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at. Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one). Take a deep breath to end. Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud: 1\. Where am I? 2\. What day of the week is today? 3\. What is today’s date? 4\. What is the current month? 5\. What is the current year? 6\. How old am I? 7\. What season is it? Take a deep breath to end. Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder. Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud. Take a deep breath to end. Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment. Take a deep breath to end. Try another grounding activity I feel grounded and ready