--- title: #1933 ~ Our Wave Community description: Hi everyone, I know you all have a story. A story of survival, of terror, uncertainty and bravery. You are brave. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.... url: https://community.ourwave.org/en/story/ae7e7ddb-b96a-46bc-b7d3-cc830a2a6339-1933.md --- {{customAnalyticsScripts}} [\[Image: Our Wave Logo\]\[Image: Our Wave Logo\]](/en/) [ Community ](/en/)[ Questions & Answers ](/en/learn)[ Find Support ](/en/resources) Share story Post a message 0 Users 0 Views 0 Reactions 0 Stories read ##### Need to take a break? 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Send it to us 🇺🇸 ##### Survivor story # #1933 Original story Hi everyone, I know you all have a story. A story of survival, of terror, uncertainty and bravery. You are brave. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise. Don’t diminish your struggle and your strength. My story started in 1998 when an officer, having heard that my boyfriend had strangled me, told me that I should have played dead instead of fighting for my life. In 2000, my best friend, my soul sister, was murdered by her boyfriend. In 2009, I thought my prince had come. Instead, I faced 15 years begging a broken system to save my kids and I. I was painted as the angry ex, the manipulator, and told that my ex just wanted to be a father. I will never forget the day that I stood on my porch with sheriff’s deputies threatening to arrest me as I explained through my tears that enough was enough, and I would not allow my children to be abused, no matter what they chose to do to me. 3 long and brutal hours later, the officers left my driveway, and my children held me while they sobbed and finally felt safe. Months later, our CFI finally validated what I’d been saying for a decade. My children weren’t safe with him. My story is not unique, it is an unfortunate norm. I’ve spent 26 years begging, pleading, and mourning, hoping for change. That stops today. I will no longer tolerate a system of failure. I know there are a multitude of resources available for victims of domestic abuse. The selfless and courageous individuals who stand behind the victims, offer support, and hold us up. I didn’t get the opportunity. My children didn’t get the opportunity. The fragmented system failed us, and we had nowhere to turn but to stand on that porch and say, “do what you have to do”. In 2000, I raged, I broke, and I thought there must be something I can do. In 2015 I raged, I broke, and I pleaded for help. In 2024 I read the story about Kayden’s Law, and said “not my babies”. In 2025 I went back to school for my degree in legal studies, and today I say there will be a change. I know the statistics, and they are devastating. 61,000 domestic violence calls to service in Colorado annually, 65%-80% are repeat offenders, over 30% of the population will be affected by domestic violence in their lifetime, 25% of assaults and 15% of homicides are attributed to domestic violence each year, and so far there have been 38 domestic violence deaths and 8 child deaths in Colorado this year. The statistics show that it takes an average of 7 attempts for victims to leave domestic violence situations, and these calls are the number one most dangerous calls for officers. The time is now. A change is needed. I plan to petition the state of Colorado to require highly trained civilians at every single domestic violence and child welfare call. I plan to bridge the gap between the existing resources and the citizens of our great state who are in need. I had nowhere to turn, and today I say, no more. I stand on the porch with my fellow survivors and say, this ends now. I can’t succeed alone, not this time, so I ask you all to stand behind me and your fellow survivors to say “enough is enough”, and together we will survive and thrive. Please check out my website and review my proposed legislation at website. Your support means the world, and your stories help show the importance of this legislation. I’m planning an event in early September, which I hope you will join, if only to know that you’re not alone. Details to come. All my very best, Survivor Random Story [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/story/ae7e7ddb-b96a-46bc-b7d3-cc830a2a6339-1933#comments) - Report ### Discard message? You have a comment in progress, are you sure you want to discard it? Cancel Discard ##### Similar community content Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec quam felis, ultricies nec, pellentesque eu, pretium quis, sem. Nulla consequat massa quis enim. Donec pede justo, fringilla vel, aliquet nec, vulputate Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec quam felis, ultricies nec, pellentesque eu, pretium quis, sem. Nulla consequat massa quis enim. Donec pede justo, fringilla vel, aliquet nec, vulputate Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec quam felis, ultricies nec, pellentesque eu, pretium quis, sem. Nulla consequat massa quis enim. Donec pede justo, fringilla vel, aliquet nec, vulputate 0 Users 0 Views 0 Reactions 0 Stories read ##### Need to take a break? Try a grounding activity For immediate help, visit {{resource}} Show resources for \[Image: Paraguay\]Paraguay [\[Image: United States\]United States](/story/ae7e7ddb-b96a-46bc-b7d3-cc830a2a6339-1933?country=us)[\[Image: Argentina\]Argentina](/story/ae7e7ddb-b96a-46bc-b7d3-cc830a2a6339-1933?country=ar)[\[Image: Australia\]Australia](/story/ae7e7ddb-b96a-46bc-b7d3-cc830a2a6339-1933?country=au)[\[Image: Bolivia\]Bolivia](/story/ae7e7ddb-b96a-46bc-b7d3-cc830a2a6339-1933?country=bo)[\[Image: Canada\]Canada](/story/ae7e7ddb-b96a-46bc-b7d3-cc830a2a6339-1933?country=ca)[\[Image: Chile\]Chile](/story/ae7e7ddb-b96a-46bc-b7d3-cc830a2a6339-1933?country=cl)[\[Image: Colombia\]Colombia](/story/ae7e7ddb-b96a-46bc-b7d3-cc830a2a6339-1933?country=co)[\[Image: Costa Rica\]Costa Rica](/story/ae7e7ddb-b96a-46bc-b7d3-cc830a2a6339-1933?country=cr)[\[Image: Cuba\]Cuba](/story/ae7e7ddb-b96a-46bc-b7d3-cc830a2a6339-1933?country=cu)[\[Image: Dominican Republic\]Dominican Republic](/story/ae7e7ddb-b96a-46bc-b7d3-cc830a2a6339-1933?country=do)[\[Image: Ecuador\]Ecuador](/story/ae7e7ddb-b96a-46bc-b7d3-cc830a2a6339-1933?country=ec)[\[Image: El Salvador\]El Salvador](/story/ae7e7ddb-b96a-46bc-b7d3-cc830a2a6339-1933?country=sv)[\[Image: Equatorial Guinea\]Equatorial Guinea](/story/ae7e7ddb-b96a-46bc-b7d3-cc830a2a6339-1933?country=gq)[\[Image: Guatemala\]Guatemala](/story/ae7e7ddb-b96a-46bc-b7d3-cc830a2a6339-1933?country=gt)[\[Image: Honduras\]Honduras](/story/ae7e7ddb-b96a-46bc-b7d3-cc830a2a6339-1933?country=hn)[\[Image: Ireland\]Ireland](/story/ae7e7ddb-b96a-46bc-b7d3-cc830a2a6339-1933?country=ie)[\[Image: Japan\]Japan](/story/ae7e7ddb-b96a-46bc-b7d3-cc830a2a6339-1933?country=jp)[\[Image: Mexico\]Mexico](/story/ae7e7ddb-b96a-46bc-b7d3-cc830a2a6339-1933?country=mx)[\[Image: Nicaragua\]Nicaragua](/story/ae7e7ddb-b96a-46bc-b7d3-cc830a2a6339-1933?country=ni)[\[Image: New Zealand\]New Zealand](/story/ae7e7ddb-b96a-46bc-b7d3-cc830a2a6339-1933?country=nz)[\[Image: Panama\]Panama](/story/ae7e7ddb-b96a-46bc-b7d3-cc830a2a6339-1933?country=pa)[\[Image: Peru\]Peru](/story/ae7e7ddb-b96a-46bc-b7d3-cc830a2a6339-1933?country=pe)[\[Image: Puerto Rico\]Puerto Rico](/story/ae7e7ddb-b96a-46bc-b7d3-cc830a2a6339-1933?country=pr)[\[Image: Spain\]Spain](/story/ae7e7ddb-b96a-46bc-b7d3-cc830a2a6339-1933?country=es)[\[Image: United Kingdom\]United Kingdom](/story/ae7e7ddb-b96a-46bc-b7d3-cc830a2a6339-1933?country=gb)[\[Image: Uruguay\]Uruguay](/story/ae7e7ddb-b96a-46bc-b7d3-cc830a2a6339-1933?country=uy)[\[Image: Venezuela\]Venezuela](/story/ae7e7ddb-b96a-46bc-b7d3-cc830a2a6339-1933?country=ve) English [English](/en/story/ae7e7ddb-b96a-46bc-b7d3-cc830a2a6339-1933)[Español](/es/story/ae7e7ddb-b96a-46bc-b7d3-cc830a2a6339-1933)[日本語](/ja/story/ae7e7ddb-b96a-46bc-b7d3-cc830a2a6339-1933) For immediate help, visit {{resource}} Made with in Raleigh, NC | Read our [Community Guidelines](https://www.ourwave.org/en/community-guidelines), [Privacy Policy](https://www.ourwave.org/en/privacy), and [Terms](https://www.ourwave.org/en/terms) | [ #### Resources ](/en/resources) ### Post a Message Share a message of support with the community. Continue We will send you an email as soon as your message is posted, as well as send helpful resources and support. Post Please adhere to our [Community Guidelines](https://www.ourwave.org/en/community-guidelines) to help us keep Our Wave a safe space. All messages will be reviewed and identifying information removed before they are posted. ### Ask a Question Ask a question about survivorship or supporting survivors. Continue We will send you an email as soon as your question is answered, as well as send helpful resources and support. Submit ### How can we help? Tell us why you are reporting this content. Our moderation team will review your report shortly. Violence, hate, or exploitation Threats, hateful language, or sexual coercion Bullying or unwanted contact Harassment, intimidation, or persistent unwanted messages Scam, fraud, or impersonation Deceptive requests or claiming to be someone else False information Misleading claims or deliberate disinformation Submit ### Share Feedback Tell us what’s working (and what isn't) so we can keep improving. Submit ### Log in Enter the email you used to submit to Our Wave and we'll send you a magic link to access your profile. Send link Grounding activity Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud: 5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window) 4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?) 3 – things you can hear 2 – things you can smell 1 – thing you like about yourself. Take a deep breath to end. From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at. Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one). Take a deep breath to end. Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud: 1\. Where am I? 2\. What day of the week is today? 3\. What is today’s date? 4\. What is the current month? 5\. What is the current year? 6\. How old am I? 7\. What season is it? Take a deep breath to end. Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder. Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud. Take a deep breath to end. Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment. Take a deep breath to end. Try another grounding activity I feel grounded and ready