--- title: #2010 ~ Our Wave Community description: I didn’t expect to feel so angry, but I do and it comes back in waves. I’m trying my best to heal. it’s been months since the last incident, but it’s really... url: https://community.ourwave.org/en/story/1fd06b45-d36a-49ad-97bb-5ef61bc07b09-2010.md --- {{customAnalyticsScripts}} [\[Image: Our Wave Logo\]\[Image: Our Wave Logo\]](/en/) [ Community ](/en/)[ Questions & Answers ](/en/learn)[ Find Support ](/en/resources) Share story Post a message 0 Users 0 Views 0 Reactions 0 Stories read ##### Need to take a break? 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Send it to us 🇹🇭 ###### Survivor story # #2010 Original story I didn’t expect to feel so angry, but I do and it comes back in waves. I’m trying my best to heal. it’s been months since the last incident, but it’s really impacted me. It’s been two occasions now within the past couple years, where a man who was supposedly safe, ended up harming me. These are men who have a good reputation in the community and supposedly offer guidance and healing to others, which makes it so much harder for me because these are the men that are supposed to be safe and trustworthy. So now my trust in men is absolutely destroyed. I’m angry at them. I’m repulsed by them. I want nothing to do with them. In my mind if the supposed good guys can do this kind of thing then what does it say about the rest of them? I know it’s not an optimistic mindset, but I’m tired of being told that I need to think more positively. My experiences really harmed me. And it’s not a positive experience for me to pretend like they didn’t. I’m tired of stuffing down my feelings to make others more comfortable. Every day I think about my pain. And how I suffer the consequences while these men go about their lives, getting support and praise from others publicly. I do want vengeance. But I could live with just having my suffering understood. I’m a kind hearted person. I didn’t deserve what they did. I’m someone who has a big heart and desires love. I’m someone who cares about doing the right thing. But now because of my scars love doesn’t even feel like an option to me. I don’t want to be angry. I want to live in a world where abuse and sexual violence don’t go unpunished. Random Story [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/story/1fd06b45-d36a-49ad-97bb-5ef61bc07b09-2010#comments) - Report ### Discard message? You have a comment in progress, are you sure you want to discard it? Cancel Discard ##### Similar community content Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec quam felis, ultricies nec, pellentesque eu, pretium quis, sem. Nulla consequat massa quis enim. Donec pede justo, fringilla vel, aliquet nec, vulputate Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec quam felis, ultricies nec, pellentesque eu, pretium quis, sem. Nulla consequat massa quis enim. Donec pede justo, fringilla vel, aliquet nec, vulputate Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec quam felis, ultricies nec, pellentesque eu, pretium quis, sem. Nulla consequat massa quis enim. Donec pede justo, fringilla vel, aliquet nec, vulputate 0 Users 0 Views 0 Reactions 0 Stories read ##### Need to take a break? Try a grounding activity For immediate help, visit {{resource}} Show resources for \[Image: United States\]United States [\[Image: Argentina\]Argentina](/en/story/1fd06b45-d36a-49ad-97bb-5ef61bc07b09-2010?country=ar)[\[Image: Australia\]Australia](/en/story/1fd06b45-d36a-49ad-97bb-5ef61bc07b09-2010?country=au)[\[Image: Bolivia\]Bolivia](/en/story/1fd06b45-d36a-49ad-97bb-5ef61bc07b09-2010?country=bo)[\[Image: Canada\]Canada](/en/story/1fd06b45-d36a-49ad-97bb-5ef61bc07b09-2010?country=ca)[\[Image: Chile\]Chile](/en/story/1fd06b45-d36a-49ad-97bb-5ef61bc07b09-2010?country=cl)[\[Image: Colombia\]Colombia](/en/story/1fd06b45-d36a-49ad-97bb-5ef61bc07b09-2010?country=co)[\[Image: Costa Rica\]Costa Rica](/en/story/1fd06b45-d36a-49ad-97bb-5ef61bc07b09-2010?country=cr)[\[Image: Cuba\]Cuba](/en/story/1fd06b45-d36a-49ad-97bb-5ef61bc07b09-2010?country=cu)[\[Image: Dominican Republic\]Dominican Republic](/en/story/1fd06b45-d36a-49ad-97bb-5ef61bc07b09-2010?country=do)[\[Image: Ecuador\]Ecuador](/en/story/1fd06b45-d36a-49ad-97bb-5ef61bc07b09-2010?country=ec)[\[Image: El Salvador\]El Salvador](/en/story/1fd06b45-d36a-49ad-97bb-5ef61bc07b09-2010?country=sv)[\[Image: Equatorial Guinea\]Equatorial Guinea](/en/story/1fd06b45-d36a-49ad-97bb-5ef61bc07b09-2010?country=gq)[\[Image: Guatemala\]Guatemala](/en/story/1fd06b45-d36a-49ad-97bb-5ef61bc07b09-2010?country=gt)[\[Image: Honduras\]Honduras](/en/story/1fd06b45-d36a-49ad-97bb-5ef61bc07b09-2010?country=hn)[\[Image: Ireland\]Ireland](/en/story/1fd06b45-d36a-49ad-97bb-5ef61bc07b09-2010?country=ie)[\[Image: Japan\]Japan](/en/story/1fd06b45-d36a-49ad-97bb-5ef61bc07b09-2010?country=jp)[\[Image: Mexico\]Mexico](/en/story/1fd06b45-d36a-49ad-97bb-5ef61bc07b09-2010?country=mx)[\[Image: Nicaragua\]Nicaragua](/en/story/1fd06b45-d36a-49ad-97bb-5ef61bc07b09-2010?country=ni)[\[Image: New Zealand\]New Zealand](/en/story/1fd06b45-d36a-49ad-97bb-5ef61bc07b09-2010?country=nz)[\[Image: Panama\]Panama](/en/story/1fd06b45-d36a-49ad-97bb-5ef61bc07b09-2010?country=pa)[\[Image: Paraguay\]Paraguay](/en/story/1fd06b45-d36a-49ad-97bb-5ef61bc07b09-2010?country=py)[\[Image: Peru\]Peru](/en/story/1fd06b45-d36a-49ad-97bb-5ef61bc07b09-2010?country=pe)[\[Image: Puerto Rico\]Puerto Rico](/en/story/1fd06b45-d36a-49ad-97bb-5ef61bc07b09-2010?country=pr)[\[Image: Spain\]Spain](/en/story/1fd06b45-d36a-49ad-97bb-5ef61bc07b09-2010?country=es)[\[Image: United Kingdom\]United Kingdom](/en/story/1fd06b45-d36a-49ad-97bb-5ef61bc07b09-2010?country=gb)[\[Image: Uruguay\]Uruguay](/en/story/1fd06b45-d36a-49ad-97bb-5ef61bc07b09-2010?country=uy)[\[Image: Venezuela\]Venezuela](/en/story/1fd06b45-d36a-49ad-97bb-5ef61bc07b09-2010?country=ve) English [English](/en/story/1fd06b45-d36a-49ad-97bb-5ef61bc07b09-2010)[Español](/es/story/1fd06b45-d36a-49ad-97bb-5ef61bc07b09-2010)[日本語](/ja/story/1fd06b45-d36a-49ad-97bb-5ef61bc07b09-2010) For immediate help, visit {{resource}} Made with in Raleigh, NC | Read our [Community Guidelines](https://www.ourwave.org/en/community-guidelines), [Privacy Policy](https://www.ourwave.org/en/privacy), and [Terms](https://www.ourwave.org/en/terms) | [ #### Resources ](/en/resources) ### Post a Message Share a message of support with the community. 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Name the following out loud: 5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window) 4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?) 3 – things you can hear 2 – things you can smell 1 – thing you like about yourself. Take a deep breath to end. From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at. Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one). Take a deep breath to end. Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud: 1\. Where am I? 2\. What day of the week is today? 3\. What is today’s date? 4\. What is the current month? 5\. What is the current year? 6\. How old am I? 7\. What season is it? Take a deep breath to end. Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder. Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud. Take a deep breath to end. Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment. Take a deep breath to end. Try another grounding activity I feel grounded and ready