--- title: When my boyfriend was 12, he briefly touched his younger cousin's private area over their clothes for a few seconds. When his cousin asked him to move his hand, he immediately stopped and nothing happened again. He describes this as childhood curiosity from when he was going through puberty. I'm trying to understand whether this falls under typical childhood sexual exploration or if it's something more serious. Is this a common experience? He has OCD and I'm wondering if I should be concerned about this. ~ Our Wave Community description:

We appreciate you reaching out with this question and understand how confusing it can be to navigate this kind of disclosure from someone you care about.... url: https://community.ourwave.org/en/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened.md --- {{customAnalyticsScripts}} [\[Image: Our Wave Logo\]\[Image: Our Wave Logo\]](/en/) [ Community ](/en/)[ Questions & Answers ](/en/learn)[ Find Support ](/en/resources) Share story Post a message 0 Users 0 Views 0 Reactions 0 Stories read ##### Need to take a break? Try a grounding activity For immediate help, visit {{resource}} Show resources for \[Image: United States\]United States [\[Image: Argentina\]Argentina](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=ar)[\[Image: Australia\]Australia](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=au)[\[Image: Bolivia\]Bolivia](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=bo)[\[Image: Canada\]Canada](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=ca)[\[Image: Chile\]Chile](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=cl)[\[Image: Colombia\]Colombia](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=co)[\[Image: Costa Rica\]Costa Rica](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=cr)[\[Image: Cuba\]Cuba](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=cu)[\[Image: Dominican Republic\]Dominican Republic](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=do)[\[Image: Ecuador\]Ecuador](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=ec)[\[Image: El Salvador\]El Salvador](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=sv)[\[Image: Equatorial Guinea\]Equatorial Guinea](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=gq)[\[Image: Guatemala\]Guatemala](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=gt)[\[Image: Honduras\]Honduras](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=hn)[\[Image: Ireland\]Ireland](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=ie)[\[Image: Japan\]Japan](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=jp)[\[Image: Mexico\]Mexico](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=mx)[\[Image: Nicaragua\]Nicaragua](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=ni)[\[Image: New Zealand\]New Zealand](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=nz)[\[Image: Panama\]Panama](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=pa)[\[Image: Paraguay\]Paraguay](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=py)[\[Image: Peru\]Peru](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=pe)[\[Image: Puerto Rico\]Puerto Rico](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=pr)[\[Image: Spain\]Spain](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=es)[\[Image: United Kingdom\]United Kingdom](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=gb)[\[Image: Uruguay\]Uruguay](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=uy)[\[Image: Venezuela\]Venezuela](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=ve) English [English](/en/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened)[Español](/es/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened)[日本語](/ja/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened) [ About Us ](https://www.ourwave.org/en/who-we-are) Made with in Raleigh, NC Read our [Community Guidelines](https://www.ourwave.org/en/community-guidelines), [Privacy Policy](https://www.ourwave.org/en/privacy), and [Terms](https://www.ourwave.org/en/terms) Have feedback? Send it to us 🇺🇸 # When my boyfriend was 12, he briefly touched his younger cousin's private area over their clothes for a few seconds. When his cousin asked him to move his hand, he immediately stopped and nothing happened again. He describes this as childhood curiosity from when he was going through puberty. I'm trying to understand whether this falls under typical childhood sexual exploration or if it's something more serious. Is this a common experience? He has OCD and I'm wondering if I should be concerned about this. \[Image: Dr. Laura\] Answer by **Dr. Laura** PhD Mental Health Nurse & Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner Topics:[Making sense of childhood experiences](/en/learn?tags=making-sense-of-childhood-experiences)[How to support survivors and be an ally](/en/learn?tags=how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally) We appreciate you reaching out with this question and understand how confusing it can be to navigate this kind of disclosure from someone you care about. It's completely natural to want to understand what happened and what it means, both for your boyfriend's younger cousin and for your relationship. What you're describing exists in a complex space. Not all sexual contact between children falls into the same category and context matters significantly. Researchers and clinicians typically consider several factors when evaluating these situations: the age difference between the children involved, whether there was coercion or force, the frequency and duration of the behavior, and how the children responded to boundaries. In the situation you've described, there are some elements that distinguish it from more concerning patterns. The interaction was brief, it happened once, your boyfriend was in early adolescence when puberty-related curiosity is developmentally common, and most significantly, he stopped immediately when his cousin communicated a boundary. Children and young adolescents are still developing their understanding of consent, boundaries, and appropriate behavior, and the ability to respond to a "no" and never repeat the behavior suggests he was capable of recognizing and respecting that boundary once it was communicated. That said, there was an age difference that likely meant a power imbalance existed between your boyfriend and his younger cousin, and any sexual contact between children with significant age or developmental differences raises valid concerns about the younger child's experience. The cousin was old enough to communicate a boundary, and your boyfriend respected it, but we can't know how that moment affected them. Many concerning sexual behaviors in childhood don't happen just once or stop when a boundary is stated, so the pattern you're describing is different from behaviors that typically cause alarm among professionals. Regarding whether this is "common," research shows that sexual curiosity and exploration are normal parts of child development, though the specific behaviors and ages vary widely. Many adults recall moments from their own childhoods involving sexual curiosity that they now recognize as inappropriate, even if they occurred in the context of normal developmental exploration. The difference between problematic sexual behavior and typical childhood curiosity often lies in the pattern, the response to boundaries, and whether the behavior continues. It's also worth noting that your boyfriend's OCD may be causing him to ruminate on this memory or experience distress about it disproportionate to the actual event. People with OCD often fixate on past behaviors and question their own morality intensely, sometimes confessing things repeatedly or seeking reassurance about whether they're a bad person. If he's bringing this up frequently or seems consumed by guilt, that pattern itself might be worth addressing with support from a mental health professional who understands OCD. What matters now is how your boyfriend has grown since that moment, how he understands consent and boundaries in his current relationships, and whether he recognizes why that kind of contact wasn't appropriate even though he was young. If you're feeling uncertain about your relationship because of this disclosure, that's valid, and you get to decide what feels right for you. You might also consider whether his current understanding of consent and respect for boundaries aligns with the values you need in a partner. Thank you for trusting us with this. We hope this gave you a little insight to support your decision making going forward. Random Question 1 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 7 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened#comments) ### Discard message? You have a comment in progress, are you sure you want to discard it? Cancel Discard ##### Similar community content Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec quam felis, ultricies nec, pellentesque eu, pretium quis, sem. Nulla consequat massa quis enim. Donec pede justo, fringilla vel, aliquet nec, vulputate Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec quam felis, ultricies nec, pellentesque eu, pretium quis, sem. Nulla consequat massa quis enim. Donec pede justo, fringilla vel, aliquet nec, vulputate Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec quam felis, ultricies nec, pellentesque eu, pretium quis, sem. Nulla consequat massa quis enim. Donec pede justo, fringilla vel, aliquet nec, vulputate 0 Users 0 Views 0 Reactions 0 Stories read ##### Need to take a break? Try a grounding activity For immediate help, visit {{resource}} Show resources for \[Image: United States\]United States [\[Image: Argentina\]Argentina](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=ar)[\[Image: Australia\]Australia](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=au)[\[Image: Bolivia\]Bolivia](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=bo)[\[Image: Canada\]Canada](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=ca)[\[Image: Chile\]Chile](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=cl)[\[Image: Colombia\]Colombia](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=co)[\[Image: Costa Rica\]Costa Rica](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=cr)[\[Image: Cuba\]Cuba](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=cu)[\[Image: Dominican Republic\]Dominican Republic](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=do)[\[Image: Ecuador\]Ecuador](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=ec)[\[Image: El Salvador\]El Salvador](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=sv)[\[Image: Equatorial Guinea\]Equatorial Guinea](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=gq)[\[Image: Guatemala\]Guatemala](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=gt)[\[Image: Honduras\]Honduras](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=hn)[\[Image: Ireland\]Ireland](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=ie)[\[Image: Japan\]Japan](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=jp)[\[Image: Mexico\]Mexico](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=mx)[\[Image: Nicaragua\]Nicaragua](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=ni)[\[Image: New Zealand\]New Zealand](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=nz)[\[Image: Panama\]Panama](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=pa)[\[Image: Paraguay\]Paraguay](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=py)[\[Image: Peru\]Peru](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=pe)[\[Image: Puerto Rico\]Puerto Rico](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=pr)[\[Image: Spain\]Spain](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=es)[\[Image: United Kingdom\]United Kingdom](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=gb)[\[Image: Uruguay\]Uruguay](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=uy)[\[Image: Venezuela\]Venezuela](/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened?country=ve) English [English](/en/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened)[Español](/es/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened)[日本語](/ja/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened) For immediate help, visit {{resource}} Made with in Raleigh, NC | Read our [Community Guidelines](https://www.ourwave.org/en/community-guidelines), [Privacy Policy](https://www.ourwave.org/en/privacy), and [Terms](https://www.ourwave.org/en/terms) | [ #### Resources ](/en/resources) ### Post a Message Share a message of support with the community. Continue We will send you an email as soon as your message is posted, as well as send helpful resources and support. Post Please adhere to our [Community Guidelines](https://www.ourwave.org/en/community-guidelines) to help us keep Our Wave a safe space. All messages will be reviewed and identifying information removed before they are posted. ### Ask a Question Ask a question about survivorship or supporting survivors. Continue We will send you an email as soon as your question is answered, as well as send helpful resources and support. Submit ### How can we help? Tell us why you are reporting this content. Our moderation team will review your report shortly. Violence, hate, or exploitation Threats, hateful language, or sexual coercion Bullying or unwanted contact Harassment, intimidation, or persistent unwanted messages Scam, fraud, or impersonation Deceptive requests or claiming to be someone else False information Misleading claims or deliberate disinformation Submit ### Share Feedback Tell us what’s working (and what isn't) so we can keep improving. Submit ### Log in Enter the email you used to submit to Our Wave and we'll send you a magic link to access your profile. Send link Grounding activity Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud: 5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window) 4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?) 3 – things you can hear 2 – things you can smell 1 – thing you like about yourself. Take a deep breath to end. From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at. Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one). Take a deep breath to end. Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud: 1\. Where am I? 2\. What day of the week is today? 3\. What is today’s date? 4\. What is the current month? 5\. What is the current year? 6\. How old am I? 7\. What season is it? Take a deep breath to end. Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder. Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud. Take a deep breath to end. Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment. Take a deep breath to end. Try another grounding activity I feel grounded and ready