---
title: "When I was younger, I was at my aunt's house with cousins... ~ Our Wave Community"
description: "Thank you for sharing your story with us. What you are describing sounds incredibly painful to carry, and reaching out takes tremendous courage. At 13 years..."
url: https://community.ourwave.org/en/answer/when-i-was-younger-i-was-at-my-aunts-house-with-cousins-and-a-family-friend-after-we-watched-something-inappropriate-together-this-friend-asked-me-to-touch-his-private-area-i-said-no-initially-but-he
language: en
---

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# When I was younger, I was at my aunt's house with cousins and a family friend. After we watched something inappropriate together, this friend asked me to touch his private area. I said no initially, but he kept asking and I felt pressured, so I eventually said yes. I touched him briefly but stopped because I felt sick about it. I asked if we could forget it happened. Now I feel guilty and shameful, like I can never be forgiven and that it was my responsibility to be better since I was older. I'm afraid of getting in trouble and really want to tell my mom because it's been eating away at me every day. Did I do something wrong? Could I ever hope for forgiveness?

*Image: Dr. Laura*

Answer by **Dr. Laura**

PhD Mental Health Nurse & Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner

Topics:[Making sense of childhood experiences](https://community.ourwave.org/en/learn/topics/making-sense-of-childhood-experiences)

Thank you for sharing your story with us. What you are describing sounds incredibly painful to carry, and reaching out takes tremendous courage. At 13 years old, you were still a child yourself, trying to make sense of new feelings and social dynamics. Your brain was still developing, particularly the parts responsible for decision-making, understanding consequences, and resisting peer pressure. Early exposure to inappropriate media can blur understanding of appropriate boundaries and behavior, making it even harder to navigate these situations appropriately.

It's important to remember that both you and your friend were minors, and neither of you had the maturity or knowledge to fully grasp the implications of those actions. Children often engage in sexual exploration or experimentation, and while it can feel confusing or scary later, it's actually quite common developmentally. The pressure you felt to say yes after initially saying no is significant, however, is significant. Even between children, coercion can happen, and it sounds like you experienced that pressure. This doesn't make you responsible for creating a harmful situation.

Feeling pressured in that moment and eventually agreeing doesn't make you a bad person. This highlights the difficult position you were in as a young teenager without the tools to handle such situations. The fact that you felt uncomfortable, stopped the interaction, and wanted to forget about it shows your natural boundaries and conscience were working, even as a young person. It's natural to look back with the perspective you have now and wish you had acted differently, but it's also important to be compassionate with your younger self who was navigating unfamiliar territory.

Your fear about getting in trouble is natural, but interactions between children of similar ages are typically handled very differently than adult-child situations. The focus is usually on education, support, and healing rather than punishment. The guilt you're carrying belongs to the situation, not to you as a person, and the fact that this weighs on you so heavily actually speaks to your character and conscience.

If this experience is weighing heavily on you, it might be helpful to talk to a trusted adult or a mental health professional. They can provide a safe and confidential space for you to express your feelings and help you work through the guilt and anxiety you're experiencing. Opening up to your mom could also be a positive step if you feel comfortable doing so. She might offer support and guidance to help you process these emotions. Many parents understand that children sometimes find themselves in confusing situations and need support, not judgment.

Forgiveness is possible, both from others and from yourself. You were a child navigating a situation you weren't equipped to handle perfectly. You stopped when you felt uncomfortable, you recognized something wasn't right, and you've carried genuine remorse. These are signs of someone with a good heart who deserves compassion, including from yourself. Acknowledging your feelings and seeking support are important steps toward healing. Remember, you're not alone, and there are people who care about you and want to help you navigate through this difficult time. Healing is possible, and you don't have to carry this shame forever.

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