--- title: When I was 7, I had a sleepover with a friend (also 7). We watched a movie with a scene involving Truth or Dare and skinny dipping, which led us to play a game that included being naked—doing things like kicking a ball. It ended with us pretending to get married, which involved kissing on the lips and a peck on the butt. Her parents discovered us, and I could hear them screaming at her while she sobbed. They made me leave immediately, and I felt deeply ashamed even though I didn't understand why. I have an OCD diagnosis, and after learning about COCSA, I'm now doubting my memories. Was it my idea? Did I pressure her? The memories are choppy, and I'm anxious that I might have done something terrible. How do I make sense of this experience? ~ Our Wave Community description:

Thank you so much for reaching out about this. Based on what you shared, what you're describing sounds like age-appropriate childhood play. When children... url: https://community.ourwave.org/en/answer/when-i-was-7-i-had-a-sleepover-with-a-friend-also-7-we-watched-a-movie-with-a-scene-involving-truth-or-dare-and-skinny-dipping-which-led-us-to-play-a-game-that-included-being-nakeddoing-things-like-ki.md --- {{customAnalyticsScripts}} [\[Image: Our Wave Logo\]\[Image: Our Wave Logo\]](/en/) [ Community ](/en/)[ Questions & Answers ](/en/learn)[ Find Support ](/en/resources) Share story Post a message 0 Users 0 Views 0 Reactions 0 Stories read ##### Need to take a break? 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Send it to us 🇺🇸 # When I was 7, I had a sleepover with a friend (also 7). We watched a movie with a scene involving Truth or Dare and skinny dipping, which led us to play a game that included being naked—doing things like kicking a ball. It ended with us pretending to get married, which involved kissing on the lips and a peck on the butt. Her parents discovered us, and I could hear them screaming at her while she sobbed. They made me leave immediately, and I felt deeply ashamed even though I didn't understand why. I have an OCD diagnosis, and after learning about COCSA, I'm now doubting my memories. Was it my idea? Did I pressure her? The memories are choppy, and I'm anxious that I might have done something terrible. How do I make sense of this experience? \[Image: Dr. Laura\] Answer by **Dr. Laura** PhD Mental Health Nurse & Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner Topics:[Making sense of childhood experiences](/en/learn?tags=making-sense-of-childhood-experiences) Thank you so much for reaching out about this. Based on what you shared, what you're describing sounds like age-appropriate childhood play. When children around 7 years old engage in exploratory behavior, especially behavior inspired by something they saw in media, it typically reflects natural curiosity rather than harmful intent. The elements you described (e.g. playing pretend, imitating what you saw, mutual participation in a game) are consistent with normal childhood development. Children at that age are learning about their bodies, social roles, and boundaries, often through imitation and play. The trauma you experienced that night appears to have come from the adults' reaction, not from the play itself. The screaming, your friend sobbing, the abrupt removal from the home, and the profound shame you felt--these are the elements that left a lasting impact. When adults respond to childhood exploration with anger and punishment rather than gentle redirection, it can create deep confusion and shame in children who didn't understand they were doing anything wrong. That shame you felt, even without understanding why, makes complete sense given how the adults reacted. Their response taught you that something terrible had happened, even though the behavior itself was developmentally normal. The intensity of the parents' reaction may have been amplified because you were both girls. Many people hold beliefs that same-sex behavior, even between young children, is inappropriate or concerning in ways that similar behavior between boys and girls might not be. If the family held conservative values, they may have responded not just to the sexual exploration itself, but to discomfort around the same-sex nature of it. This adds another painful layer to your experience. You may have internalized not just shame about childhood curiosity, but shame connected to same-sex interaction. It's important to recognize that childhood exploration between same-gender peers is completely normal and happens among children who grow up to identify in all different ways--some as LGBTQ and many who don't. Exploring with another girl as a child doesn't mean anything definitive about your identity, and it certainly wasn't wrong. The discomfort existed in their reaction, not in what you were doing. Your OCD is likely latching onto this memory because there's ambiguity and uncertainty around it, which OCD tends to exploit. The "what ifs" you're experiencing (e.g. What if it was my idea? What if I pressured her? What if I'm remembering wrong?) are characteristic of OCD's need for certainty about moral responsibility. The choppy, vague nature of childhood memories is completely normal. Our brains don't form detailed, linear memories at that age, especially of events that seemed unremarkable at the time. The fact that your memories are fragmented doesn't mean you're forgetting something sinister. It means you were 7. Nothing in what you've described suggests coercion, pressure, or harm. You were both the same age, you were both participating, and you were both imitating something you'd seen. It doesn't seem to me that you were doing something terrible. It sounds like you were a child being a child. The shame belongs to that experience of being shamed, not to the play that preceded it. If you feel ready, sharing this with your therapist, particularly one who understands both OCD and childhood development, might help you process both the traumatic reaction you experienced and the way your OCD is using this memory against you now. You deserve compassion for what you went through, both as a 7-year-old and as an adult trying to make sense of it. Thank you for trusting us with this. Random Question 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/when-i-was-7-i-had-a-sleepover-with-a-friend-also-7-we-watched-a-movie-with-a-scene-involving-truth-or-dare-and-skinny-dipping-which-led-us-to-play-a-game-that-included-being-nakeddoing-things-like-ki#comments) ### Discard message? You have a comment in progress, are you sure you want to discard it? Cancel Discard ##### Similar community content Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. 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[English](/en/answer/when-i-was-7-i-had-a-sleepover-with-a-friend-also-7-we-watched-a-movie-with-a-scene-involving-truth-or-dare-and-skinny-dipping-which-led-us-to-play-a-game-that-included-being-nakeddoing-things-like-ki)[Español](/es/answer/when-i-was-7-i-had-a-sleepover-with-a-friend-also-7-we-watched-a-movie-with-a-scene-involving-truth-or-dare-and-skinny-dipping-which-led-us-to-play-a-game-that-included-being-nakeddoing-things-like-ki)[日本語](/ja/answer/when-i-was-7-i-had-a-sleepover-with-a-friend-also-7-we-watched-a-movie-with-a-scene-involving-truth-or-dare-and-skinny-dipping-which-led-us-to-play-a-game-that-included-being-nakeddoing-things-like-ki) For immediate help, visit {{resource}} Made with in Raleigh, NC | Read our [Community Guidelines](https://www.ourwave.org/en/community-guidelines), [Privacy Policy](https://www.ourwave.org/en/privacy), and [Terms](https://www.ourwave.org/en/terms) | [ #### Resources ](/en/resources) ### Post a Message Share a message of support with 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Name the following out loud: 5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window) 4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?) 3 – things you can hear 2 – things you can smell 1 – thing you like about yourself. Take a deep breath to end. From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at. Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one). Take a deep breath to end. Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud: 1\. Where am I? 2\. What day of the week is today? 3\. What is today’s date? 4\. What is the current month? 5\. What is the current year? 6\. How old am I? 7\. What season is it? Take a deep breath to end. Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder. Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud. Take a deep breath to end. Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment. Take a deep breath to end. Try another grounding activity I feel grounded and ready