--- title: When I was 10 years old, I initiated sexual play with a younger female friend who was 3 or 4 years younger than me. The first time I asked if she was comfortable and she said yes, and we kissed for a minute or two. About a week later, I asked again but she said no, and I was okay with that. But then I suggested we play a game where if I won, I could kiss her, and she agreed. After I won, we kissed one last time before her parents found out. Her parents forgave me, but I was beaten by my mother. I was physically abused throughout my childhood, witnessed my parents argue and engage in physical violence, was sexually abused by a female teacher, and was exposed to adult content starting around age 6. I'm older now and struggling with guilt about what happened when I was 10. How do I understand this? ~ Our Wave Community description:

Thank you for trusting this space with something so heavy and painful. The fact that you're reaching out shows tremendous courage, and I want you to know... url: https://community.ourwave.org/en/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min.md --- {{customAnalyticsScripts}} [\[Image: Our Wave Logo\]\[Image: Our Wave Logo\]](/en/) [ Community ](/en/)[ Questions & Answers ](/en/learn)[ Find Support ](/en/resources) Share story Post a message 0 Users 0 Views 0 Reactions 0 Stories read ##### Need to take a break? Try a grounding activity For immediate help, visit {{resource}} Show resources for \[Image: United States\]United States [\[Image: Argentina\]Argentina](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=ar)[\[Image: Australia\]Australia](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=au)[\[Image: Bolivia\]Bolivia](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=bo)[\[Image: Canada\]Canada](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=ca)[\[Image: Chile\]Chile](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=cl)[\[Image: Colombia\]Colombia](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=co)[\[Image: Costa Rica\]Costa Rica](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=cr)[\[Image: Cuba\]Cuba](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=cu)[\[Image: Dominican Republic\]Dominican Republic](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=do)[\[Image: Ecuador\]Ecuador](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=ec)[\[Image: El Salvador\]El Salvador](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=sv)[\[Image: Equatorial Guinea\]Equatorial Guinea](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=gq)[\[Image: Guatemala\]Guatemala](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=gt)[\[Image: Honduras\]Honduras](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=hn)[\[Image: Ireland\]Ireland](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=ie)[\[Image: Japan\]Japan](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=jp)[\[Image: Mexico\]Mexico](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=mx)[\[Image: Nicaragua\]Nicaragua](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=ni)[\[Image: New Zealand\]New Zealand](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=nz)[\[Image: Panama\]Panama](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=pa)[\[Image: Paraguay\]Paraguay](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=py)[\[Image: Peru\]Peru](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=pe)[\[Image: Puerto Rico\]Puerto Rico](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=pr)[\[Image: Spain\]Spain](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=es)[\[Image: United Kingdom\]United Kingdom](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=gb)[\[Image: Uruguay\]Uruguay](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=uy)[\[Image: Venezuela\]Venezuela](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=ve) English [English](/en/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min)[Español](/es/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min)[日本語](/ja/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min) [ About Us ](https://www.ourwave.org/en/who-we-are) Made with in Raleigh, NC Read our [Community Guidelines](https://www.ourwave.org/en/community-guidelines), [Privacy Policy](https://www.ourwave.org/en/privacy), and [Terms](https://www.ourwave.org/en/terms) Have feedback? Send it to us 🇮🇳 # When I was 10 years old, I initiated sexual play with a younger female friend who was 3 or 4 years younger than me. The first time I asked if she was comfortable and she said yes, and we kissed for a minute or two. About a week later, I asked again but she said no, and I was okay with that. But then I suggested we play a game where if I won, I could kiss her, and she agreed. After I won, we kissed one last time before her parents found out. Her parents forgave me, but I was beaten by my mother. I was physically abused throughout my childhood, witnessed my parents argue and engage in physical violence, was sexually abused by a female teacher, and was exposed to adult content starting around age 6. I'm older now and struggling with guilt about what happened when I was 10. How do I understand this? \[Image: Dr. Laura\] Answer by **Dr. Laura** PhD Mental Health Nurse & Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner Topics:[Making sense of childhood experiences](/en/learn?tags=making-sense-of-childhood-experiences) Thank you for trusting this space with something so heavy and painful. The fact that you're reaching out shows tremendous courage, and I want you to know that you deserve compassion as you work through these complicated feelings. When children experience abuse and are exposed to sexual content before they're developmentally ready, it profoundly impacts how they understand boundaries, relationships, and appropriate behavior. This doesn't excuse harmful actions, but it's essential context for understanding how a 10-year-old child might engage in sexualized behavior without fully comprehending what they were doing. At 10 years old, your brain was still developing the capacity to understand consent, power dynamics, and the potential impact of sexual behavior. Children who have been abused or exposed to adult content often re-enact what has happened to them or what they've seen, not because they want to harm anyone, but because they're trying to make sense of confusing experiences. This is a recognized pattern in trauma research. You were a child who was still learning what was okay and what wasn't, navigating new feelings without the knowledge or emotional tools you have today. The age difference you mention and the fact that you created a game to get around her initial "no" are concerning behaviors, but they occurred when you yourself were a child who had been harmed and was likely acting out of confusion rather than malicious intent. Child-on-child sexual behavior can be incredibly complicated, especially when children have been exposed to violence or have had difficult family environments. It sounds like some of the time you were both curious in the way children often are, yet there was also a moment where she said no, and later she agreed under conditions of a game. It's understandable to look back now, with your current understanding of right and wrong, and feel deep regret or wonder about the nature of what happened. This doesn't minimize the younger child's perspective, but it does recognize that you were also a child doing your best to navigate feelings and situations you weren't equipped to handle. The guilt you're carrying is actually a sign that you understand something harmful could have occurred, even if you didn't fully understand it at the time. That awareness matters deeply. Many survivors of childhood sexual abuse struggle when they realize they also engaged in problematic sexual behavior as children. It creates a painful duality of being both someone who was harmed and someone who caused harm. Both truths can exist simultaneously, and holding both doesn't make you irredeemable or beyond help. Your willingness to reflect on this and ask hard questions now shows that you care about doing the right thing. That recognition matters a lot. If thinking about this weighs on you or you notice it affecting your self-esteem or relationships, that's a sign you deserve trustworthy support. Consider speaking with a trauma-informed therapist or counselor who specializes in childhood sexual abuse and complex trauma. They can help you process both what was done to you and what happened with your friend, without judgment or condemnation. Talking through emotions like guilt, confusion, shame, or regret in a safe and confidential space can bring real relief. Many people discover that sharing in this kind of environment helps them see their younger self in a more forgiving light and understand how their earliest experiences shaped them. Healing isn't about deserving criticism. It's about understanding the full picture of how trauma affected you, developing genuine accountability, and learning healthy ways to relate to others moving forward. You were a child who needed protection, guidance, and appropriate boundaries, and you didn't receive those things. You deserve the opportunity to heal and grow into someone who treats others with the respect and care you didn't always receive. It was brave of you to reach out, and seeking help and understanding is part of taking good care of your emotional well-being, both now and in the future. You are not alone in questioning events that happened when you were a child, and you deserve kindness, understanding, and support as you navigate this difficult terrain. Thank you for trusting us with this. Random Question 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 1 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min#comments) ### Discard message? You have a comment in progress, are you sure you want to discard it? Cancel Discard ##### Similar community content Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec quam felis, ultricies nec, pellentesque eu, pretium quis, sem. Nulla consequat massa quis enim. Donec pede justo, fringilla vel, aliquet nec, vulputate Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec quam felis, ultricies nec, pellentesque eu, pretium quis, sem. Nulla consequat massa quis enim. Donec pede justo, fringilla vel, aliquet nec, vulputate Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec quam felis, ultricies nec, pellentesque eu, pretium quis, sem. Nulla consequat massa quis enim. Donec pede justo, fringilla vel, aliquet nec, vulputate 0 Users 0 Views 0 Reactions 0 Stories read ##### Need to take a break? Try a grounding activity For immediate help, visit {{resource}} Show resources for \[Image: United States\]United States [\[Image: Argentina\]Argentina](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=ar)[\[Image: Australia\]Australia](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=au)[\[Image: Bolivia\]Bolivia](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=bo)[\[Image: Canada\]Canada](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=ca)[\[Image: Chile\]Chile](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=cl)[\[Image: Colombia\]Colombia](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=co)[\[Image: Costa Rica\]Costa Rica](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=cr)[\[Image: Cuba\]Cuba](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=cu)[\[Image: Dominican Republic\]Dominican Republic](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=do)[\[Image: Ecuador\]Ecuador](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=ec)[\[Image: El Salvador\]El Salvador](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=sv)[\[Image: Equatorial Guinea\]Equatorial Guinea](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=gq)[\[Image: Guatemala\]Guatemala](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=gt)[\[Image: Honduras\]Honduras](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=hn)[\[Image: Ireland\]Ireland](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=ie)[\[Image: Japan\]Japan](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=jp)[\[Image: Mexico\]Mexico](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=mx)[\[Image: Nicaragua\]Nicaragua](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=ni)[\[Image: New Zealand\]New Zealand](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=nz)[\[Image: Panama\]Panama](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=pa)[\[Image: Paraguay\]Paraguay](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=py)[\[Image: Peru\]Peru](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=pe)[\[Image: Puerto Rico\]Puerto Rico](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=pr)[\[Image: Spain\]Spain](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=es)[\[Image: United Kingdom\]United Kingdom](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=gb)[\[Image: Uruguay\]Uruguay](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=uy)[\[Image: Venezuela\]Venezuela](/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min?country=ve) English [English](/en/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min)[Español](/es/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min)[日本語](/ja/answer/when-i-was-10-years-old-i-initiated-sexual-play-with-a-younger-female-friend-who-was-3-or-4-years-younger-than-me-the-first-time-i-asked-if-she-was-comfortable-and-she-said-yes-and-we-kissed-for-a-min) For immediate help, visit {{resource}} Made with in Raleigh, NC | Read our [Community Guidelines](https://www.ourwave.org/en/community-guidelines), [Privacy Policy](https://www.ourwave.org/en/privacy), and [Terms](https://www.ourwave.org/en/terms) | [ #### Resources ](/en/resources) ### Post a Message Share a message of support with the community. Continue We will send you an email as soon as your message is posted, as well as send helpful resources and support. Post Please adhere to our [Community Guidelines](https://www.ourwave.org/en/community-guidelines) to help us keep Our Wave a safe space. All messages will be reviewed and identifying information removed before they are posted. ### Ask a Question Ask a question about survivorship or supporting survivors. Continue We will send you an email as soon as your question is answered, as well as send helpful resources and support. Submit ### How can we help? Tell us why you are reporting this content. Our moderation team will review your report shortly. Violence, hate, or exploitation Threats, hateful language, or sexual coercion Bullying or unwanted contact Harassment, intimidation, or persistent unwanted messages Scam, fraud, or impersonation Deceptive requests or claiming to be someone else False information Misleading claims or deliberate disinformation Submit ### Share Feedback Tell us what’s working (and what isn't) so we can keep improving. Submit ### Log in Enter the email you used to submit to Our Wave and we'll send you a magic link to access your profile. Send link Grounding activity Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud: 5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window) 4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?) 3 – things you can hear 2 – things you can smell 1 – thing you like about yourself. Take a deep breath to end. From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at. Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one). Take a deep breath to end. Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud: 1\. Where am I? 2\. What day of the week is today? 3\. What is today’s date? 4\. What is the current month? 5\. What is the current year? 6\. How old am I? 7\. What season is it? Take a deep breath to end. Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder. Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud. Take a deep breath to end. Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment. Take a deep breath to end. Try another grounding activity I feel grounded and ready