---
title: I need help processing my childhood trauma. I have been... ~ Our Wave Community
description: Thank you so much for trusting us with your story. I'm deeply sorry that you've had to endure such painful and confusing experiences. What you've described...
url: https://community.ourwave.org/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382.md
---

{{customAnalyticsScripts}}

[\[Image: Our Wave Logo\]\[Image: Our Wave Logo\]](/en/)

[

Community

](/en/)[

Questions & Answers

](/en/learn)[

Find Support

](/en/resources)

Share story

Post a message

0

Users

0

Views

0

Reactions

0

Stories read

##### Need to take a break?

Try a grounding activity

For immediate help, visit {{resource}}

Show resources for

\[Image: Peru\]Peru

[\[Image: United States\]United States](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=us)[\[Image: Argentina\]Argentina](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=ar)[\[Image: Australia\]Australia](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=au)[\[Image: Bolivia\]Bolivia](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=bo)[\[Image: Canada\]Canada](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=ca)[\[Image: Chile\]Chile](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=cl)[\[Image: Colombia\]Colombia](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=co)[\[Image: Costa Rica\]Costa Rica](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=cr)[\[Image: Cuba\]Cuba](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=cu)[\[Image: Dominican Republic\]Dominican Republic](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=do)[\[Image: Ecuador\]Ecuador](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=ec)[\[Image: El Salvador\]El Salvador](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=sv)[\[Image: Equatorial Guinea\]Equatorial Guinea](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=gq)[\[Image: Guatemala\]Guatemala](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=gt)[\[Image: Honduras\]Honduras](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=hn)[\[Image: Ireland\]Ireland](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=ie)[\[Image: Japan\]Japan](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=jp)[\[Image: Mexico\]Mexico](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=mx)[\[Image: Nicaragua\]Nicaragua](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=ni)[\[Image: New Zealand\]New Zealand](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=nz)[\[Image: Panama\]Panama](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=pa)[\[Image: Paraguay\]Paraguay](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=py)[\[Image: Puerto Rico\]Puerto Rico](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=pr)[\[Image: Spain\]Spain](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=es)[\[Image: United Kingdom\]United Kingdom](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=gb)[\[Image: Uruguay\]Uruguay](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=uy)[\[Image: Venezuela\]Venezuela](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=ve)

English

[English](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382)[Español](/es/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382)[日本語](/ja/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382)

[

About Us

](https://www.ourwave.org/en/who-we-are)

Made with in Raleigh, NC

Read our [Community Guidelines](https://www.ourwave.org/en/community-guidelines), [Privacy Policy](https://www.ourwave.org/en/privacy), and [Terms](https://www.ourwave.org/en/terms)

Have feedback? Send it to us

🇺🇸

# I need help processing my childhood trauma. I have been harmed by many people, but my mother specifically maintained deeply inappropriate boundaries with me. She would force physical intimacy during bathroom/hygiene routines, make sexual comments about my body, share explicit details about her relationships, and treated me more like a partner than her child. She'd force me to watch her in public restrooms, threatening worse abuse if I refused. What's really haunting me is that at around age 7-8, she unknowingly became my sexual awakening through these bathroom-related incidents, and I developed fetishes that I still have as an adult. While I've made peace with my sexuality, I'm horrified realizing she shaped it through abuse. She denies everything now, claiming I was just "coddled." My therapist validates that this was sexual abuse and assault, but I struggle with the ambiguity since it wasn't penetrative rape. Am I misinterpreting things because of how it affected my sexuality? I just want to be able to name what happened to me, but the lack of clarity makes it so hard.

\[Image: Dr. Laura\]

Answer by **Dr. Laura**

PhD Mental Health Nurse & Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner

Topics:[Understanding and embracing healing](/en/learn/topics/understanding-and-embracing-healing)

Thank you so much for trusting us with your story. I'm deeply sorry that you've had to endure such painful and confusing experiences. What you've described are serious violations of your boundaries and trust by someone who should have protected and cared for you. Your feelings of hurt, confusion, and betrayal are completely valid.

The behaviors you've detailed involving your mother indeed sound like forms of abuse. Treating you as a companion rather than a child, exposing you to inappropriate content, invading your privacy, making unsettling comments about your body, and engaging in unwanted physical contact are all deeply inappropriate and harmful actions. It's important to acknowledge that abuse can take many forms, and it doesn't always fit into a single definition or label.

Whether or not the term "rape" applies, what's most crucial is that you recognize you were subjected to abusive and exploitative behavior, and that it has had a significant impact on your life. The ambiguity you feel is not uncommon among survivors, especially when the abuse doesn't fit the stereotypical narratives society often portrays. Abuse by a caregiver, particularly a parent, adds layers of complexity because of the inherent trust and dependency in that relationship.

It's not your fault that these things happened to you. You were a child, and your mother was responsible for your care and well-being. The confusion around your feelings and the development of your interests are understandable responses to the experiences you had. Many survivors grapple with similar emotions and questions about their identities and relationships.

Your therapist's validation that what you experienced is sexual abuse and assault is significant. It's normal to question and doubt yourself, especially when the abuser denies any wrongdoing or minimizes their actions. Please know that your perspective matters, and your pain is real.

It's also important to be gentle with yourself regarding your thoughts and feelings about your fetish. Our brains sometimes develop coping mechanisms in response to trauma, and this doesn't make you at fault or diminish your worth. Exploring these feelings with your therapist can help you understand and process them in a safe and supportive environment.

You deserve to heal and find peace. Continuing to work with a trusted mental health professional can provide you with the support and guidance you need on this journey. Remember that you're not alone, and there are people who care about you and want to help. Thank you again for sharing your story with us. Your strength in confronting these difficult memories is remarkable. Please be kind to yourself as you navigate this healing process.

Random Question

0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s)

[

0 Comment(s) Comment(s)

](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382#comments)

### Discard message?

You have a comment in progress, are you sure you want to discard it?

Cancel

Discard

##### Similar community content

0

Users

0

Views

0

Reactions

0

Stories read

##### Need to take a break?

Try a grounding activity

For immediate help, visit {{resource}}

Show resources for

\[Image: Peru\]Peru

[\[Image: United States\]United States](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=us)[\[Image: Argentina\]Argentina](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=ar)[\[Image: Australia\]Australia](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=au)[\[Image: Bolivia\]Bolivia](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=bo)[\[Image: Canada\]Canada](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=ca)[\[Image: Chile\]Chile](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=cl)[\[Image: Colombia\]Colombia](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=co)[\[Image: Costa Rica\]Costa Rica](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=cr)[\[Image: Cuba\]Cuba](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=cu)[\[Image: Dominican Republic\]Dominican Republic](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=do)[\[Image: Ecuador\]Ecuador](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=ec)[\[Image: El Salvador\]El Salvador](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=sv)[\[Image: Equatorial Guinea\]Equatorial Guinea](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=gq)[\[Image: Guatemala\]Guatemala](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=gt)[\[Image: Honduras\]Honduras](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=hn)[\[Image: Ireland\]Ireland](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=ie)[\[Image: Japan\]Japan](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=jp)[\[Image: Mexico\]Mexico](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=mx)[\[Image: Nicaragua\]Nicaragua](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=ni)[\[Image: New Zealand\]New Zealand](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=nz)[\[Image: Panama\]Panama](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=pa)[\[Image: Paraguay\]Paraguay](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=py)[\[Image: Puerto Rico\]Puerto Rico](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=pr)[\[Image: Spain\]Spain](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=es)[\[Image: United Kingdom\]United Kingdom](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=gb)[\[Image: Uruguay\]Uruguay](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=uy)[\[Image: Venezuela\]Venezuela](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382?country=ve)

English

[English](/en/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382)[Español](/es/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382)[日本語](/ja/answer/i-need-help-processing-my-childhood-trauma-i-have-been-harmed-by-many-people-but-my-mother-specifically-maintained-deeply-inappropriate-boundaries-with-me-she-would-force-physical-intimacy-during-bathroom-hygiene-routines-make-sexual-comments-about-my-body-share-explicit-details-about-her-relationships-and-treated-me-more-like-a-partner-than-her-child-shed-force-me-to-watch-her-in-public-restrooms-threatening-worse-abuse-if-i-refused-whats-really-haunting-me-is-that-at-around-age-7-8-she-unknowingly-became-my-sexual-awakening-through-these-bathroom-related-incidents-and-i-developed-fetishes-that-i-still-have-as-an-adult-while-ive-made-peace-with-my-sexuality-im-horrified-realizing-she-shaped-it-through-abuse-she-denies-everything-now-claiming-i-was-just-coddled-my-therapist-validates-that-this-was-sexual-abuse-and-assault-but-i-struggle-with-the-ambiguity-since-it-wasnt-penetrative-rape-am-i-misinterpreting-things-because-of-how-it-affected-my-sexuality-i-just-want-to-be-able-to-name-what-happened-to-me-but-the-lack-of-clarity-makes-it-so-hard-382)

For immediate help, visit {{resource}}

Made with in Raleigh, NC

|

Read our [Community Guidelines](https://www.ourwave.org/en/community-guidelines), [Privacy Policy](https://www.ourwave.org/en/privacy), and [Terms](https://www.ourwave.org/en/terms)

|

[

#### Resources

](/en/resources)

### Post a Message

Share a message of support with the community.

Continue

We will send you an email as soon as your message is posted, as well as send helpful resources and support.

Post

Please adhere to our [Community Guidelines](https://www.ourwave.org/en/community-guidelines) to help us keep Our Wave a safe space. All messages will be reviewed and identifying information removed before they are posted.

### Ask a Question

Ask a question about survivorship or supporting survivors.

Continue

We will send you an email as soon as your question is answered, as well as send helpful resources and support.

Submit

### How can we help?

Tell us why you are reporting this content. Our moderation team will review your report shortly.

Violence, hate, or exploitation

Threats, hateful language, or sexual coercion

Bullying or unwanted contact

Harassment, intimidation, or persistent unwanted messages

Scam, fraud, or impersonation

Deceptive requests or claiming to be someone else

False information

Misleading claims or deliberate disinformation

Submit

### Share Feedback

Tell us what’s working (and what isn't) so we can keep improving.

Submit

### Log in

Enter the email you used to submit to Our Wave and we'll send you a magic link to access your profile.

Send link

Grounding activity

Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:

5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)

4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)

3 – things you can hear

2 – things you can smell

1 – thing you like about yourself.

Take a deep breath to end.

From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.

Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).

Take a deep breath to end.

Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:

1\. Where am I?

2\. What day of the week is today?

3\. What is today’s date?

4\. What is the current month?

5\. What is the current year?

6\. How old am I?

7\. What season is it?

Take a deep breath to end.

Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.

Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.

Take a deep breath to end.

Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.

Take a deep breath to end.

Try another grounding activity

I feel grounded and ready