--- title: I met someone online who has been pressuring me to do sexual things I don't want to do. They send me explicit content (pornography) and make me feel like I have to participate. Is this exploitation? ~ Our Wave Community description:

Thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like this person's behavior is placing you in situations where you feel pressured to do things you don't want... url: https://community.ourwave.org/en/answer/i-met-someone-online-who-has-been-pressuring-me-to-do-sexual-things-i-dont-want-to-do-they-send-me-explicit-content-pornography-and-make-me-feel-like-i-have-to-participate-is-this-exploitation-777.md --- {{customAnalyticsScripts}} [\[Image: Our Wave Logo\]\[Image: Our Wave Logo\]](/en/) [ Community ](/en/)[ Questions & Answers ](/en/learn)[ Find Support ](/en/resources) Share story Post a message 0 Users 0 Views 0 Reactions 0 Stories read ##### Need to take a break? 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Send it to us 🇺🇸 # I met someone online who has been pressuring me to do sexual things I don't want to do. They send me explicit content (pornography) and make me feel like I have to participate. Is this exploitation? \[Image: Dr. Laura\] Answer by **Dr. Laura** PhD Mental Health Nurse & Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner Topics:[Understanding specific types of trauma and harm](/en/learn?tags=understanding-specific-types-of-trauma-and-harm) Thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like this person's behavior is placing you in situations where you feel pressured to do things you don't want to do, and that is absolutely not okay. What you're describing does sound like a form of exploitation. When someone pressures you into sexual activities you don't want to do, that's [coercion](https://community.ourwave.org/_external/link?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.webmd.com%2Fsex%2Fwhat-is-sexual-coercion&resourceId=non_specific&localeId=en&countryId=us&src=answer&questionId=7997f388-359d-4a9c-a142-81c3ae0e90a9&sig=792022f319bfbc15285ddd1e1fc0bb67a4ff3d5d2527248f46dee09c2d07c5bd), and it's never okay regardless of how you met them or what kind of relationship you have. Even if you are close in age, it's important to recognize that sending sexual content or pushing someone into any sexual activity without their clear agreement can be a form of exploitation or even abuse. Feeling pressured and uncomfortable is a strong sign that what is happening is crossing your boundaries and violating your trust. [Exploitation](https://community.ourwave.org/_external/link?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.stopchildabuse.org%2Feducation%2Fwhat-is-online-child-exploitation&resourceId=non_specific&localeId=en&countryId=us&src=answer&questionId=7997f388-359d-4a9c-a142-81c3ae0e90a9&sig=2aa2854f7c26252a545c4568ae6414186312963ea9e5963b6de1d5e193f31712) happens when someone takes advantage of an imbalance of power or uses manipulation to get you to do things that benefit them at your expense. Pressure is a form of coercion: it removes your genuine choice and consent. Real consent means you feel completely free to say no without fear of consequences, guilt, or continued pressure. When someone keeps pushing after you've expressed discomfort or hesitation, they're prioritizing their wants over your wellbeing and autonomy, which is not okay. Being sent pornography and explicit content, especially when unwanted, is a form of sexual harassment. When this happens in an online relationship where someone is pressuring you for sexual interaction, it often serves to normalize sexual behavior, break down your boundaries, and groom you into compliance. This is a tactic used to make you feel like these requests are normal or that you owe them something. It is not your fault that you feel uneasy. Any time someone forces or guilts you into sexual activities, even if it's online, that blame rests entirely on the person doing the pressuring. What's happening to you is not your fault. You deserve relationships, whether online or in person, where your boundaries are respected, where "no" is accepted the first time, and where you never feel pressured or obligated to do anything sexual. The fact that you're questioning whether this is exploitation shows your instincts are telling you something is wrong, and you should trust those instincts. You might want to consider stopping communication with this person entirely. You don't owe them an explanation, and protecting yourself is what matters most. Ending contact with someone who is hurting you is a powerful way to reclaim your safety and boundaries. It's okay to block them, delete their messages, and remove yourself from a situation that makes you uncomfortable. You deserve support. If you can, please consider talking to a trusted adult about what's going on, whether it's a parent, teacher, counselor, or another supportive figure you trust. Let them know you're uncomfortable with what this person is asking and the content being sent to you. You are not alone in feeling worried or confused, and getting help can make a huge difference in stopping this harmful behavior. A safe, caring adult can offer guidance, protect your privacy, and help you figure out the best steps to take so that you feel secure again. Thank you for trusting us with this. You are not alone. 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Violence, hate, or exploitation Threats, hateful language, or sexual coercion Bullying or unwanted contact Harassment, intimidation, or persistent unwanted messages Scam, fraud, or impersonation Deceptive requests or claiming to be someone else False information Misleading claims or deliberate disinformation Submit ### Share Feedback Tell us what’s working (and what isn't) so we can keep improving. Submit ### Log in Enter the email you used to submit to Our Wave and we'll send you a magic link to access your profile. Send link Grounding activity Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud: 5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window) 4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?) 3 – things you can hear 2 – things you can smell 1 – thing you like about yourself. Take a deep breath to end. From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at. Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one). Take a deep breath to end. Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud: 1\. Where am I? 2\. What day of the week is today? 3\. What is today’s date? 4\. What is the current month? 5\. What is the current year? 6\. How old am I? 7\. What season is it? Take a deep breath to end. Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder. Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud. Take a deep breath to end. Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment. Take a deep breath to end. Try another grounding activity I feel grounded and ready