--- title: How can I tell my sister about what happened with our other sister when I was 6-7 and she was 11-12? She would make me touch her and kiss her when we were alone, and when I didn't want to, she would say "it's okay." I want to tell my other sister but don't know how to approach this conversation. ~ Our Wave Community description:

Thank you so much for trusting us with this. What you experienced was not okay, and I want you to know that none of it was your fault. The fact that you... url: https://community.ourwave.org/en/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i.md --- {{customAnalyticsScripts}} [\[Image: Our Wave Logo\]\[Image: Our Wave Logo\]](/en/) [ Community ](/en/)[ Questions & Answers ](/en/learn)[ Find Support ](/en/resources) Share story Post a message 0 Users 0 Views 0 Reactions 0 Stories read ##### Need to take a break? 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Canada\]Canada](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=ca)[\[Image: Chile\]Chile](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=cl)[\[Image: Colombia\]Colombia](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=co)[\[Image: Costa Rica\]Costa Rica](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=cr)[\[Image: 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Salvador](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=sv)[\[Image: Equatorial Guinea\]Equatorial Guinea](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=gq)[\[Image: Guatemala\]Guatemala](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=gt)[\[Image: Honduras\]Honduras](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=hn)[\[Image: Ireland\]Ireland](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=ie)[\[Image: Japan\]Japan](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=jp)[\[Image: Mexico\]Mexico](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=mx)[\[Image: Nicaragua\]Nicaragua](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=ni)[\[Image: New Zealand\]New Zealand](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=nz)[\[Image: Panama\]Panama](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=pa)[\[Image: Paraguay\]Paraguay](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=py)[\[Image: Peru\]Peru](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=pe)[\[Image: Puerto Rico\]Puerto Rico](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=pr)[\[Image: Spain\]Spain](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=es)[\[Image: United 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Send it to us 🇺🇸 # How can I tell my sister about what happened with our other sister when I was 6-7 and she was 11-12? She would make me touch her and kiss her when we were alone, and when I didn't want to, she would say "it's okay." I want to tell my other sister but don't know how to approach this conversation. \[Image: Dr. Laura\] Answer by **Dr. Laura** PhD Mental Health Nurse & Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner Topics:[Sharing your story with others](/en/learn?tags=sharing-your-story-with-others) Thank you so much for trusting us with this. What you experienced was not okay, and I want you to know that none of it was your fault. The fact that you said no and were overridden shows that your boundaries were violated, and your feelings about this experience are completely valid. It's understandable to feel uncertain about how to share such personal, painful memories with your sister, especially when it involves family dynamics that can be complicated. Revisiting these difficult experiences can stir up many emotions, and the thought of discussing them with someone close can feel frightening, even if you feel it's the right step. It might help to think about what you want from this conversation. Perhaps you want her understanding and support, or maybe you simply need someone in the family to know what happened. There is no wrong reason to speak up, and you're allowed to reveal as much or as little of your story as feels safe to you. Some people choose a private, calm setting to allow each person the space to react without interruption. You might begin by letting your sister know you have something significant to share, that it might be hard to hear, and that you value her care and understanding. You could start by saying something like "I need to share something difficult with you about our childhood" or "There's something that happened between me and \[sister's name\] that I need you to know about." Speaking from your own perspective (e.g. "I experienced this," "I felt scared," or "I need you to understand what I went through") helps keep the focus on your feelings and experiences. You don't have to share every detail if it feels overwhelming. It's okay to set a pace that respects your comfort. If you find spoken words too difficult, writing a letter can be another way to express yourself and allow her to absorb what you're saying in her own time. It's also normal to worry about how she might respond. She may be initially shocked, supportive, confused, sad, or perhaps not know the right words. She might even struggle to believe what you're telling her initially, and people often need time to process difficult information. This doesn't reflect on the validity of your experience or your decision to share it, and it doesn't lessen what happened or how important it is that you're sharing this. Family dynamics around these situations can be complicated, and you have every right to set boundaries about this conversation, including asking your sister not to confront the person who hurt you if you're not ready for that, or requesting that she keep this information private while you decide how you want to handle it. If at any point speaking directly to her feels too overwhelming, it could be helpful to reach out first to someone more removed from the situation, maybe a trusted friend, counselor, or support line, who can provide reassurance and help you plan the conversation. Consider what kind of support you might need both during and after this conversation, whether that's having someone on standby or planning some self-care activities. Remember that disclosure is a process, not a single event, and you can share more information over time as you feel ready. Telling someone about past harm can be an act of self-care and healing, even if it feels painful at first, and you deserve to have your truth heard with kindness and respect. Remember that this is your story, and you have a right to reveal it in the way that feels safest for you. Your courage in considering this conversation shows incredible strength, and you are not alone. There is support out there for situations just like this. Thank you for your trust. Random Question 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i#comments) ### Discard message? You have a comment in progress, are you sure you want to discard it? Cancel Discard ##### Similar community content Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. 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Canada\]Canada](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=ca)[\[Image: Chile\]Chile](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=cl)[\[Image: Colombia\]Colombia](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=co)[\[Image: Costa Rica\]Costa Rica](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=cr)[\[Image: Cuba\]Cuba](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=cu)[\[Image: Dominican Republic\]Dominican Republic](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=do)[\[Image: Ecuador\]Ecuador](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=ec)[\[Image: El Salvador\]El Salvador](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=sv)[\[Image: Equatorial Guinea\]Equatorial Guinea](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=gq)[\[Image: Guatemala\]Guatemala](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=gt)[\[Image: Honduras\]Honduras](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=hn)[\[Image: Ireland\]Ireland](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=ie)[\[Image: Japan\]Japan](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=jp)[\[Image: Mexico\]Mexico](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=mx)[\[Image: Nicaragua\]Nicaragua](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=ni)[\[Image: New Zealand\]New Zealand](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=nz)[\[Image: Panama\]Panama](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=pa)[\[Image: Paraguay\]Paraguay](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=py)[\[Image: Peru\]Peru](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=pe)[\[Image: Puerto Rico\]Puerto Rico](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=pr)[\[Image: Spain\]Spain](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=es)[\[Image: United Kingdom\]United Kingdom](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=gb)[\[Image: Uruguay\]Uruguay](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=uy)[\[Image: Venezuela\]Venezuela](/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i?country=ve) English [English](/en/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i)[Español](/es/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i)[日本語](/ja/answer/how-can-i-tell-my-sister-about-what-happened-with-our-other-sister-when-i-was-6-7-and-she-was-11-12-she-would-make-me-touch-her-and-kiss-her-when-we-were-alone-and-when-i-didnt-want-to-she-would-say-i) For immediate help, visit {{resource}} Made with in Raleigh, NC | Read our [Community Guidelines](https://www.ourwave.org/en/community-guidelines), [Privacy Policy](https://www.ourwave.org/en/privacy), and [Terms](https://www.ourwave.org/en/terms) | [ #### Resources ](/en/resources) ### Post a Message Share a message of support with 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Continue We will send you an email as soon as your message is posted, as well as send helpful resources and support. Post Please adhere to our [Community Guidelines](https://www.ourwave.org/en/community-guidelines) to help us keep Our Wave a safe space. All messages will be reviewed and identifying information removed before they are posted. ### Ask a Question Ask a question about survivorship or supporting survivors. Continue We will send you an email as soon as your question is answered, as well as send helpful resources and support. Submit ### How can we help? Tell us why you are reporting this content. Our moderation team will review your report shortly. 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Name the following out loud: 5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window) 4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?) 3 – things you can hear 2 – things you can smell 1 – thing you like about yourself. Take a deep breath to end. From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at. Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one). Take a deep breath to end. Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud: 1\. Where am I? 2\. What day of the week is today? 3\. What is today’s date? 4\. What is the current month? 5\. What is the current year? 6\. How old am I? 7\. What season is it? Take a deep breath to end. Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder. Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud. Take a deep breath to end. Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment. Take a deep breath to end. Try another grounding activity I feel grounded and ready