---
title: After experiencing a PTSD breakdown, I shared details about my sexual assault with my boyfriend's mother. Even though she responded with kindness, I now feel overwhelmed and like she knows too much about me. I feel smaller, confined, and like I'm drowning. Why might I be feeling this way, and how can I cope with these feelings? ~ Our Wave Community
description: <p>Thank you for reaching out to us. I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. What you're experiencing makes complete sense, and I want you to know...
url: https://community.ourwave.org/en/answer/after-experiencing-a-ptsd-breakdown-i-shared-details-about-my-sexual-assault-with-my-boyfriends-mother-even-though-she-responded-with-kindness-i-now-feel-overwhelmed-and-like-she-knows-too-much-about.md
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# After experiencing a PTSD breakdown, I shared details about my sexual assault with my boyfriend's mother. Even though she responded with kindness, I now feel overwhelmed and like she knows too much about me. I feel smaller, confined, and like I'm drowning. Why might I be feeling this way, and how can I cope with these feelings?

\[Image: Dr. Laura\]

Answer by **Dr. Laura**

PhD Mental Health Nurse & Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner

Topics:[Sharing your story with others](/en/learn?tags=sharing-your-story-with-others)[Seeking help after trauma](/en/learn?tags=seeking-help-after-trauma-1)

Thank you for reaching out to us. I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. What you're experiencing makes complete sense, and I want you to know that these feelings are a normal response to sharing something so deeply personal during a vulnerable moment. What you're describing sounds like what many people call a "vulnerability hangover" - that overwhelming sense of regret, shame, or discomfort that can follow after opening up about something deeply personal, even when the person responds with kindness.

Sharing something as personal and painful as a sexual assault can be incredibly challenging, and it's completely normal to have complex emotions afterward. Even when someone responds with kindness, as your boyfriend's mom did, it can still leave you feeling exposed and vulnerable. The feeling that someone "knows too much" can be overwhelming and often happens because trauma disclosure can shift the dynamic of a relationship. It might feel like a loss of control over your own story and who has access to such intimate parts of your life. Even when someone responds with kindness, you might worry that they now see you differently. You might be concerned they view you as fragile, damaged, or defined by what happened to you rather than who you are as a whole person. This fear of being reduced to your trauma experience is incredibly common among survivors.

This sense of being "shoved in a box" or feeling like you're "drowning" could be your mind's response to this vulnerability. The drowning feeling you describe sounds like emotional flooding, which can happen when our nervous system becomes overwhelmed. It's not uncommon to experience heightened anxiety or a resurgence of difficult emotions after disclosing a traumatic experience. Your body and mind are processing not only the original trauma but also the new dynamics that come with sharing it, plus concerns about how this disclosure will affect your relationships moving forward. This vulnerability hangover can make everything feel more intense and overwhelming than usual.

It's important to recognize that these feelings are a natural response to a very stressful situation and to remember that sharing your experience doesn't diminish you or make you smaller, even though it feels that way right now. You are still the same complete, complex person you were before the disclosure. A vulnerability hangover doesn't mean you made a mistake by sharing. It's simply your nervous system's way of processing the emotional risk you took. Grant yourself permission to feel what you're feeling without judgment. Healing isn't a linear process, and it's okay to take the time you need to work through these emotions.

Finding ways to regain a sense of control might help alleviate some of these overwhelming feelings. This could involve setting boundaries with your boyfriend's mom about how and when you discuss this topic, if at all. You have the right to choose how much you share and when you talk about it, or to let her know if you need some time before discussing it further. Consider practicing grounding techniques when the drowning sensation hits - focus on your breath, notice five things you can see around you, or engage your senses to bring yourself back to the present moment.

Engaging in self-care activities that make you feel safe and grounded can also be beneficial. This might include practices like deep breathing exercises, spending time in a comfortable and familiar environment, journaling your thoughts, or engaging in gentle physical activity like walking or yoga. It might also be helpful to talk to a professional who is experienced in supporting survivors of sexual assault. They can provide coping strategies tailored to your specific situation and help you navigate these complex emotions.

Remember that you survived your trauma, and you will survive this difficult period of processing the disclosure too. Vulnerability hangovers are temporary, even though they feel overwhelming in the moment. These intense feelings will soften with time as you regain your sense of control and agency over your story. You're not alone in feeling this way, and there are people who care about you and want to help. You don't have to go through this alone, and reaching out for support is a sign of strength, not weakness. Be patient and kind to yourself as you work through these feelings. Healing takes time, and it's okay to ask for help along the way.

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Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:

5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)

4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)

3 – things you can hear

2 – things you can smell

1 – thing you like about yourself.

Take a deep breath to end.

From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.

Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).

Take a deep breath to end.

Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:

1\. Where am I?

2\. What day of the week is today?

3\. What is today’s date?

4\. What is the current month?

5\. What is the current year?

6\. How old am I?

7\. What season is it?

Take a deep breath to end.

Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.

Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.

Take a deep breath to end.

Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.

Take a deep breath to end.

Try another grounding activity

I feel grounded and ready