--- title: A gender-based violence survivor is being harassed by an ex-partner and fears for their life. What protection measures can you help them access? ~ Our Wave Community description:

Thank you for reaching out about this serious situation. When someone fears for their life due to gender-based violence or intimate partner violence,... url: https://community.ourwave.org/en/answer/a-gender-based-violence-survivor-is-being-harassed-by-an-ex-partner-and-fears-for-their-life-what-protection-measures-can-you-help-them-access-460.md --- {{customAnalyticsScripts}} [\[Image: Our Wave Logo\]\[Image: Our Wave Logo\]](/en/) [ Community ](/en/)[ Questions & Answers ](/en/learn)[ Find Support ](/en/resources) Share story Post a message 0 Users 0 Views 0 Reactions 0 Stories read ##### Need to take a break? 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Send it to us 🇧🇼 # A gender-based violence survivor is being harassed by an ex-partner and fears for their life. What protection measures can you help them access? \[Image: Dr. Laura\] Answer by **Dr. Laura** PhD Mental Health Nurse & Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner Topics:[How to support survivors and be an ally](/en/learn?tags=how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally) Thank you for reaching out about this serious situation. When someone fears for their life due to gender-based violence or intimate partner violence, immediate action is crucial. For immediate danger situations, your safety must come first. If you believe you're in immediate danger, call emergency services (911 in the US) without hesitation. Many people worry about "overreacting," but when it comes to your safety, it's better to err on the side of caution. Understanding legal protections can feel overwhelming, but there are clear steps you can take. A [restraining order](https://community.ourwave.org/_external/link?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.superlawyers.com%2Fresources%2Ffamily-law%2Fhow-do-i-get-a-restraining-order-for-domestic-violence%2F&resourceId=non_specific&localeId=en-US&countryId=us&src=answer&questionId=48915924-1617-4fbb-ba26-ba99609da910&sig=e83dedc26298f634134080bc12b285032ca32100cc5d9b60b9076aa6139cb86d) (also called an order of protection) is a powerful legal tool that creates documented consequences for your ex-partner's harassment. The process might seem daunting, but you don't have to navigate it alone. Domestic violence organizations have trained advocates who can walk beside you through every step, from filling out paperwork to attending court hearings. They understand the system and can explain everything in clear terms. Creating a comprehensive [safety plan](https://community.ourwave.org/_external/link?url=https%3A%2F%2Fnnedv.org%2Fresources-library%2Fsafety-planning%2F&resourceId=non_specific&localeId=en-US&countryId=us&src=answer&questionId=48915924-1617-4fbb-ba26-ba99609da910&sig=bce3fd40352b66efc3a5e7717b47ad0a87a0bdd7957b95ebf0fc0580fcbd542e) is essential because abuse often escalates when a survivor takes steps to protect themselves. Think of a safety plan as your personal emergency preparedness guide. It should include practical elements like keeping important documents (ID, birth certificate, insurance cards) in a secure, easily accessible location, but also strategic planning like identifying multiple escape routes from your home and workplace. Consider creating a code word with trusted friends or family that signals you need immediate help. Documentation becomes crucial for both legal protection and your own safety. Think of it as creating a paper trail that validates your experience and can support future legal actions. Keep detailed records of every incident, including dates, times, locations, and any witnesses. If you receive threatening messages, take screenshots and save them to a secure cloud storage account your ex cannot access. Consider using a dedicated email address for this documentation that your ex doesn't know about. Technology safety requires special attention in today's digital world. Abusers often use technology for surveillance and harassment. Have your devices checked for tracking software, and consider getting a new phone that your ex has never had access to. Change all passwords, including those for accounts you might not use often. Remember that abusers sometimes place tracking devices on vehicles or hide them in commonly carried items. Many survivors find strength in building a support network. This network can include professional support (domestic violence advocates, counselors, legal advisors) and personal support (trusted friends, family, religious leaders if applicable). Your local police department may offer special services for domestic violence survivors, such as extra patrols of your neighborhood or faster response times to your address. Some areas also have address confidentiality programs that help survivors keep their location private from abusers. Remember that domestic violence organizations offer comprehensive support beyond immediate crisis assistance. They can help you access emergency shelter if needed, connect you with counseling services, assist with safety planning for children if applicable, and even help you develop longer-term strategies for building independence and security. You deserve to live free from fear. [The National Domestic Violence Hotline](https://community.ourwave.org/_external/link?url=https%3A%2F%2Fnnedv.org%2Fcontact-us%2F&resourceId=non_specific&localeId=en-US&countryId=us&src=answer&questionId=48915924-1617-4fbb-ba26-ba99609da910&sig=0ae86bbe7d640523f10bea788ae195a54f144b946fe0986d209b2917cb487a5c) (1-800-799-SAFE) is available 24/7, and their trained advocates at thehotline.org can provide immediate support and connect you with local resources. They understand the complexity of abuse and can help you think through your specific situation without judgment. Thank you for reaching out to us. We hope this helps. P.S. If you need to quickly exit this webpage, please utilize our safety exit button. Also, consider using a private browsing window or clearing your browser history after researching resources. 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Name the following out loud: 5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window) 4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?) 3 – things you can hear 2 – things you can smell 1 – thing you like about yourself. Take a deep breath to end. From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at. Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one). Take a deep breath to end. Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud: 1\. Where am I? 2\. What day of the week is today? 3\. What is today’s date? 4\. What is the current month? 5\. What is the current year? 6\. How old am I? 7\. What season is it? Take a deep breath to end. Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder. Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud. Take a deep breath to end. Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment. Take a deep breath to end. Try another grounding activity I feel grounded and ready