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Answer by Dr. Laura
PhD Mental Health Nurse & Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner
Thank you for raising this sensitive topic. While it's understandable to have questions about complex situations, it's crucial to approach this subject with extreme care and prioritize the safety and wellbeing of all individuals, especially children.
For adult survivors of sexual violence, it's important to recognize that children cannot be held legally or morally responsible for sexual behaviors in the same way adults can. Children who exhibit inappropriate sexual behaviors are often acting out due to their own experiences of abuse, trauma, or exposure to inappropriate content. They require compassionate intervention and professional help, not blame or punishment.
If an adult experiences concerning behavior from a child, the appropriate response is to seek immediate assistance from child protective services, law enforcement, or mental health professionals specializing in childhood trauma and inappropriate sexual behaviors. These experts can provide proper assessment, support, and intervention to address the underlying issues and ensure everyone's safety.
For adult survivors, such situations may be particularly triggering or distressing. It's crucial to prioritize their own mental health and seek support from a trauma-informed therapist or counselor who can help you process your feelings and reactions should you feel that this happened to you. Remember, your experiences and emotions are valid, and you deserve support in navigating any situation that brings up painful memories or emotions.
The focus in these complex situations should always be on getting proper professional help to ensure the protection, healing, and wellbeing of all involved, with particular emphasis on safeguarding children. If you're unsure how to proceed in any situation involving concerning behavior from a child, please reach to ChildHelp.
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.