If someone who was drunk kissed someone who was sober/tipsy, would that be considered sexual assault? If so, who would be held accountable - the person who was drunk or the person who was sober/tipsy?

Thank you for reaching out with this important question. The situation you're describing involves nuanced considerations about consent and accountability, which can be complex.

When alcohol is involved, consent becomes more complicated because intoxication can impair someone's ability to give meaningful consent. The level of intoxication matters significantly - someone who is extremely intoxicated may not be able to consent to sexual activity, while someone who is mildly intoxicated might still have the capacity to make decisions. Consent must be clear, voluntary, and mutual between all parties involved, regardless of the circumstances.

If a person who is drunk initiates a kiss with someone who is sober or only slightly intoxicated (tipsy), several factors come into play. Being under the influence of alcohol does not excuse someone from respecting others' boundaries. If the sober or tipsy person did not want to be kissed and did not give consent, the drunk individual may be accountable for initiating unwanted physical contact. Intoxication can impair judgment, but it doesn't remove responsibility for one's actions toward others.

Conversely, if the sober or tipsy person is aware that the drunk individual is not in a position to give informed consent and they reciprocate or escalate physical contact, they may be taking advantage of the impaired person. In such cases, the sober or less-intoxicated person could be held accountable for engaging in activity without the other person's full consent. Generally speaking, the more sober person is often considered to have greater responsibility in the interaction because they likely have greater awareness and decision-making capacity.

Sexual assault is defined by laws that vary by location but generally involves unwanted sexual contact without consent. A kiss can be considered sexual assault if it was unwanted and occurred without consent, regardless of who initiated it or their level of intoxication. That said, many jurisdictions take into account the capacity to consent, which can be compromised by significant intoxication.

What you're describing exists in a complicated ethical and legal area. Rather than focusing solely on who might be "at fault," it can be helpful to reflect on how the interaction felt to everyone involved and to have open conversations about boundaries and consent when everyone is sober. Both individuals should be attentive to each other's willingness and comfort levels. If there's any doubt about consent, it's best to refrain from engaging in physical contact.

If this situation has caused distress for you or someone you know, speaking with a counselor who specializes in these issues might provide more personalized guidance and support. Remember, your feelings and experiences are valid, and it's okay to seek clarity and understanding. Please take care of yourself, and know that you're not alone in navigating these complex situations. Thank you for asking this complex question. We appreciate you.